The Quarterback (The Team, #2)

by Tal Bauer

This is what their wedding will look like.

🥹🥹

There was nothing he cherished more than being Justin’s father.

fathers and sons as a theme

And then Justin grew older, and… Nick hadn’t worked as hard as he should have to keep them close. Justin turned inward, hiding his secret until he’d exploded. Keeping his sexuality concealed had carved him off from his parents, put an impenetrable wall between them, one that stood for too many years.

that there was nothing, not a single thing in the whole world that would end his love for his son.

there’s a difference between feeling love and showing love

living around each other instead of together. Justin going off to college had seemed like the slow end to a long goodbye that began in middle school.

Now, too, Justin’s good friend, after a shaky start.

Colton raised his beer bottle for another toast. “Bachelor life. Right on.”

Colton you are such a dork

But the gasping way they’d hung on even as they grew further and further apart, until Cynthia was a stranger to him, made it feel like he’d been torn in half from top to bottom.

There was nothing in his entire life that matched the stab to his heart when Cynthia told him she thought their son was broken and needed to be fixed.

GOOD

He wasn’t ready to let anyone else in yet. Wasn’t ready to open himself up.

famous last words lol but really i forgot how tender things were for Nick at the beginning of this book

Nick set his beer down behind him and held out his hand. “Put your money where your mouth is, and show me those skills.”

lol Nick

“Fuck the haters. It’s just for fun. And I’ve got my fifth-grade reputation to uphold.”

Colton literally one second of introspection might give you some insight on why you want to dance w Nick lol

“I might step on your feet,” Nick said. “I’ve never danced the lady’s part before.”

opposite foreshadowing lol

his son was as happy as this for the rest of his days, that was all that mattered.

you deserve happiness too Nick!!!

Sometimes a year changed a man in ways that couldn’t be measured in hours and days and weeks. Sometimes a year became the cornerstone of a life.

But he never had, and Colton had decided the man was probably dead. It was easier to imagine that than to accept that his father didn’t care about him at all.

Their odd friendship, and the way Colton meant something he couldn’t define, brought him back to the jock house, day after day after day, to see Colton.

lol okay Nick

Or how he’d crumpled toward Nick, collapsing in on himself.

I forgot how raw Colton was before the relationship started

“I’ll come see you every day, Colton.” “No, jeez, you don’t have to. I wasn’t trying to guilt you into—” “I want to come see you. I’m happy to.”

NICK THIS IS VERY CUTE AND EXTREMELY NOT NORMAL

He was trying. For who, he didn’t know. For himself, maybe. It felt good to feel good again.

Colton’s eyes went wide. “Oh, wow,” he said. “That is old. I saw one of those in a museum.”

COLTON PLEASE lmfao

every day as long as Colton needed company. Colton wasn’t his son, but he was… special.

But Colton was the closest friend Nick had made in years, maybe since Nick was in college.

Colton was a potent mix of earnestness and vulnerability, a man still collecting experiences that were shaping him into the person he would become.

“There are lots of one-handed gamers in the world. I knew this had to exist.” Colton turned the controller over, his lips parted, jaw loose and slack.

Colton hasn’t felt seen in a really long time, maybe ever

Colton turned to him, giving him a look of such wonder and stunned happiness that Nick couldn’t hold back his own smile.

kind of hard NOT to fall in love w his earnestness

overwhelming sappiness.

lol seriously

Colton would relish the photos of it all. From his bedroom. In the air-conditioning. Sitting on the couch.

the girls who get it…

Be anything except himself. People left when he was himself.

He’s not your dad. You don’t have a dad. How many times had he told himself that, growing up? Coach isn’t your dad. Don’t expect more than you get.

I wanted one more year with the team. One more year with my best friend. How did that turn into this? An empty house and no football to fill his days. No teammates to hang out with. He couldn’t even toss the ball to himself. And he had no one to distract him from himself.

He puffed up beneath Nick’s praise, like he always did whenever someone older and wiser noticed him and said he was good. He couldn’t stop his smile.

loooooooooool ok Colton

“Yeah.” Was that too eager? Was he smiling too wide? “I’d love to.”

you can start to see where things change for Colton here

Mad Dog wine coolers he and his friends had downed when they thought they were the height of cool in high school.

real

Colton’s jaw dropped. His fingers curled on the countertop, nails digging into the pads of his palm. He chose his son. Justin is so fucking lucky.

🥺🥺🥺

He looked soft, warm, and comfortable. Like the word home turned into a person.

He spoke like he hadn’t just dropped an atomic bomb in the center of Colton’s soul. Colton’s heart was a drum. His guts were twisting and twirling themselves into knots. He shouldn’t say yes. He should distance himself, pull away, stand on his own two feet. Use this time of solitude to grow. Grow into what? An aching, lonely twenty-two-year-old?

For fifteen years, at every game, he’d scoured the stands for his dad. And disappointment hardened inside him every time, until the hole he’d scooped out of himself to bury the shards of his hope had turned into a canyon that bored right through him. Was Nick a bridge across that canyon? He was filling up all the cracks and crevices where Colton’s hope had withered and died. Or was he an earthquake that would undo him from the inside out?

What was better? Suffering in silence and hardening your heart against the world? Or owning what you wanted, what you needed?

Colton is so vulnerable it kills me

“It will be great,” Nick finished for him. “I’m glad you said yes. I get lonely, too.”

Justin and Wes and their love had stunned them both, not just into silence, but into smallness. Who were they next to the sun and moon of Justin and Wes’s love?

It was all there in his eyes, in the way he looked at Colton. Pride and joy, and even… Even in his dream, Colton didn’t dare think the word.

He should expect Colton would throw himself into Nick’s life with at least the same level of care. He set his jaw and squared his shoulders.

If you loved me, I’d never make you regret it. I’d never give you a reason to wish we hadn’t met. If you loved me, I’d never let you drink to try to forget us.

Is this how it feels to want something so fucking badly you ache for it? But you can’t have it, and you can’t reach out, and you can’t even admit that you want what you want? That you’re dying inside with every heartbeat, but you can’t stop this yearning? Is this what it feels like?

The football had been Colton’s idea, not Nick’s. It would benefit Nick, though, and that’s what mattered.

THIS BOY I CANNOT

“You hang on to this one, Nick,” Kimbrough rumbled. “He’s going to be a fine, fine man.” “The NFL will be very lucky to have him,” Nick said. He winked at Colton. Kimbrough nodded, but his intense, weather-worn eyes seemed to see everything, including what wasn’t on the surface, when he gazed at Colton. Colton tried not to squirm.

👀👀👀

Hair was a new sensation, different from a girl’s endless curves. Not a bad sensation, though. Not when it was Nick’s chest hair. He latched on to Nick’s nipple and bit down.

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN when I talk about bi/pan/ace folks who have enjoyed sex w both genders. It’s okay to notice differences, esp in an awakening storyline!! Different but one is not bad!! Different but enjoying!!

He hoped enthusiasm would make up for his lack of skill.

this is such a common phrase in first time storylines like they all have had a meeting lol

He fell asleep to the soft stroking of Nick’s fingers and the wild beat of Nick’s heart beneath his cheek.