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But then Nick pulled up his camera and said, “Smile,” and he snapped a photo of him and Colton together doing exactly what Colton had just thought they shouldn’t admit they were doing. In the photo, Colton had tipped his head toward Nick’s like he was with his damn girlfriend—boyfriend—and both of their faces were flushed, smiles stretching their cheeks as wide as they would go.
Colton knew what he wanted to text. We hang out all the time. I’m living with your dad. I dream about him every night. I imagine kissing him every hour of every day. Wes, can you teach me how to suck dick? I want to, but I’m afraid I’m going to suck at it. Excuse the pun. I’ve never wanted to before, and I don’t have any idea what to do.
Of course, he didn’t really need to learn how to suck a dick. Nick wasn’t going to let him suck his cock, and if it wasn’t Nick’s dick, he wasn’t interested. I’m not gay, but if the right guy comes along…
“When you get yourself back to throwing those touchdowns, you’ll have to come out to the Permian Basin with me. You can stand on one edge of my oil field and throw this ball so far you can watch it curl around the edge of the earth.”
“You hang on to this one, Nick,” Kimbrough rumbled. “He’s going to be a fine, fine man.”
“The NFL will be very lucky to have him,” Nick said. He winked at Colton. Kimbrough nodded, but his intense, weather-worn eyes seemed to see everything, including what wasn’t on the surface, when he gazed at Colton. Colton tried not to squirm.
He stared at Nick. Squeezed down on his pint glass and felt the icy condensation dribble between his fingers. I don’t want “anyone.” I want you.
I want to be your quarterback. I want a million nights like this. I want you to always smile at me exactly the way you are right now.
He’s not kissing back. Colton pulled away. He swallowed and stared into the biggest, most shocked eyes he’d ever seen. Nick, stunned. Nick, speechless. Nick, blinking as he stared at Colton like Colton had just stepped out of an alien spaceship, descended from the moons of Jupiter. No, that’s not how this was supposed to go. That’s not what he’d imagined, had played out in both his daytime and nighttime fantasies. No, no, no, no, no—
Nick’s lips parted. He groaned, and his tongue snaked out and met Colton’s as he reached for Colton with both hands, tugging him forward so unexpectedly he tumbled into Nick’s hold, his chest crashing against Nick’s as he stood in the bracket of Nick’s spread thighs.
Stunned, he broke the kiss—You fucking idiot, why did you do that, you just got what you always wanted!—and reared back. He felt his own eyes go wide as he stared at Nick’s kiss-swollen lips and dilated pupils.
“Are you kissing me back?” he blurted out. “Are you kissing me?” Nick breathed. “Well… yeah.” “Why?” Nick’s hands shook where they grasped Colton’s button-down, two fistfuls of fabric over his pecs. His lips were parted, still shi...
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Colton felt the flush start in his chest, rise from beneath his collar and stain his cheeks crimson. “I think that’s kind of obvious, isn’t it? Unless I really suck at things. More than I thought I did.” Nick blinked. He tried to say something. Nothing came out. “I want you.” His whisper bounced off Nick’s lips. “I want you, Nick.”
Nick shoved off his barstool. He slammed into Colton, their legs, hips, shoulders colliding. Colton jerked, and he grabbed Nick’s waist and held him tight, keeping them joined, body to body. He felt his cock go from scared and soft to desperate and hard against Nick, Nick’s crotch, Nick’s cock. “Let’s get out of here,” Nick growled.
Colton’s cock had never been so hard.
Yes. Nick was hard. Hard for him.
Skin to skin, chest to chest. Colton nearly came in his pants at just the feel of Nick against him, reality set free from all his dreams.
Nick was as turned on as Colton was. He nuzzled Nick’s quivering belly and reached for Nick’s belt.
He was a guy. He knew the signs. He felt Nick tense, felt his thigh muscles go hard and rigid, felt his ass clench and his hips levitate. Felt his cock get, impossibly, harder in his mouth, right before Nick came.
They’d done it. He’d kissed Nick, and Nick had kissed him back. He’d had sex with Nick. And he’d loved it.
He lifted his gaze to Nick’s face— Gut-wrenching horror filled Nick’s eyes. Horror, shock, and terror. “Colton.” Nick barely forced his name out. It was tight and hard, mangled like he’d dragged it from the bottom of his soul.
Nick’s gaze ran over his body, skittering over his naked crotch and his chest, then going wide when he saw Colton’s right arm. “Where’s your sling?” “Somewhere on the floor.” “Fuck.” Nick leaned over the edge of the bed, searching the carpet. He kept the sheet around his waist, covering himself, as he grabbed Colton’s sling. “Did you sleep without it?” “I wanted to touch you—” Nick looked like he was going to be sick. “It was in the way,” Colton mumbled. “Are you in pain? Did I hurt your shoulder? Did I—” Nick closed his eyes and hung his head.
This would be awkward when Justin and Wes got back. Why don’t you and my dad talk anymore? Didn’t you guys go to that winery together? Weren’t you playing PlayStation together all the time? Yeah, but then I sucked your dad’s dick and he freaked the fuck out. Shit happens, bro.
That was bullshit. Whoever said that wasn’t looking at three hours trapped in a Porsche with the guy who’d just rejected you. Who looked at what had been maybe the best night of your life and acted like it was the worst night ever for him.
He looked like Nick was driving him to his execution.
Colton hadn’t looked this dejected, this downright heartbroken, even when he’d been in the hospital after his surgery.
What the fuck had he done to Colton?
Everything that had been crawling through his veins all summer long, since he’d first started spending time with Colton. Possibility, potentiality. The what-if a future that lay just out of sight. Young ambition, young passion. He’d felt it like he’d shot twenty-two years old straight into his heart.
Colton turned those big, terrible, melting eyes to him.
I understand Wes and Justin. I understand falling in love with a guy. Nick flinched.
He tried to assess Colton out of the corner of his eye. Colton was handsome. Anybody—everybody—could see that. He was astonishingly good looking, with strong features, a defined face, bright eyes. His smile could power an electric plant. His body was a work of art, sculpted muscles and a tight physicality that screamed of his dedication to athletics and to football. Colton was, in every sense of the word, a catch.
Cynthia had been all curves and give. Colton’s body was like a blade, so hot and sharp against his. He shook his head. Tried to push the memory away.
“I kind of thought it was obvious what I wanted.” “Sex? A one-night stand?” “No,” Colton whispered. “I wanted to wake up and see you smiling at me. I wanted to kiss you good morning. I want to reach over there and hold your hand right now, like I’ve dreamed about doing—” “You’ve dreamed about me?” “I’ve dreamed so fucking much about you. And I thought, last night, that this was starting to go where my dreams were. That we were on the same page and we wanted the same things.” He inhaled, blew it out in one big breath. “I thought you wanted me, too.” “Jesus,” Nick whispered. “Colton…” “I fucked
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I’ve dreamed so fucking much about you. And I thought, last night, that this was starting to go where my dreams were. He hadn’t hurt Colton last night, but he sure was hurting him now, it seemed. I thought we were on the same page, wanted the same things. I thought you wanted me, too.
He seemed to like that Nick a lot. I’ve fallen for you.
He’d loved that. Loved every minute of it. Because that’s what you did when you were married. You rebuilt your married life with Colton, you jackass.
But Nick hadn’t known he was doing that. He hadn’t known he was building a new life with Colton. And he’d never seduced Colton, never tried to tempt him. Last night, Colton kissed him first. You kissed me back.
He had. He had kissed Colton back. And… he’d liked it. A lot. But Justin—
Was his arm okay? Was his shoulder all right? How much pain was he in? How out of his mind had he been that he didn’t notice when Colton took his sling off? He wanted to rewind time, go back to that moment, tell Colton, “No, keep your sling on,” then kiss him, hold him, make love to him so nothing hurt in the morning—
He wasn’t gay, but he was attracted to Colton. As a person, as a human being, as a man. As a partner. As a potential lover, even. Did he want to see where they could go? That was the question, wasn’t it? Was he brave enough to try? What on earth would Justin think? Justin’s face in his heart. Colton’s smile in his mind. The taste of Colton’s lips on his tongue. He’d remember the touch of Colton’s lips, and his body, forever.
His gaze slid to Colton. He watched the younger man’s jaw clench and hold, watched his Adam’s apple bob like a blade. Saw his lips twist and thin, then twist again. “I’ll, uh,” Colton started. “I’ll pack my stuff. I never realized I was such a slob.” “You’re not a slob.” Colton shrugged. “I’ll be out of here in an hour.” Panic. Pain right through him, a knife to his chest. “Colton, wait. Don’t.”
“Can you go first?” Colton finally whispered. “Because last night, I kissed you, and when you kissed me back, I thought that meant you wanted it, too. And I’m scared to kiss you right now, or touch you, because I’m afraid I pushed you, and that I might push you again—”
Nick closed the distance between them and took Colton’s face between his hands. Leaned in and closed his lips over Colton’s, hushed him with a kiss. He thought he’d be tentative, sweet, chaste. He thought he’d let their lips linger. But Colton groaned and opened his mouth beneath Nick’s, and then their tongues were arcing together, and Nick’s fingers dug into Colton’s scalp as he deepened the kiss, as he chased Colton’s tongue with his own, as he bit down on Colton’s lower lip and moaned. He wanted more, so much more. He was trembling, he wanted it so much, and he wrapped his arms around
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Nick shuddered and broke the kiss, pulling back to stare at Colton. Colton’s pupils were so huge Nick could fall into them. His lips were wet, swollen, his cheeks flushed. “Oh, fuck,” Nick breathed. Colton went pale. He tried to pull away. “Stop,” he croaked. “Stop. You don’t want this. Forget it, forget about last night.” “No,” Nick growled. He grabbed Colton’s cheek and pulled him back. “I don’t w...
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“Can we,” Colton asked, pulling back only enough to breathe, “Can we keep my sling on? I know it’s not sexy—” “Please keep your sling on.” Nick cupped his face. Cradled his jaw. “I’m mad at myself for letting you take it off last night. Was I careful with you, at least?” “You’re always wonderful with me.” Colton kissed him. Kissed him again. “I don’t want you to hurt because of me.”
Nick had never been this near another man’s hard cock before, but it was more or less the same as his own, albeit from a different angle. And more than his own, if he was being honest. Colton was a big boy, in every sense of the word. What would that cock feel like in his mouth?
“I’m not interested in taking more than I give. That’s not who I am. Besides…” He nipped at Colton’s quivering lower lip. “I was thinking about sucking your dick for half the drive.”
He could get used to that. He could easily get used to it. Especially the way Colton moaned his name. There was something intoxicating about making someone you cared for orgasm. And he’d liked doing it. Maybe not enough to try sucking off more guys, but he liked sucking Colton’s cock.
He kissed Colton and grinned. Tangled his leg through Colton’s thighs. Slid his fingers between Colton’s. “I’m a giver.” He nuzzled Colton’s cheek. “I like seeing you come. I like hearing you say my name when you do, too.”
Something rustled inside him, heavy and empty, like huge wind chimes moving on a dusty wind. His thoughts were discordant, off-key. They didn’t sit right inside him, ran against the grain of things he couldn’t change deep within him.
