Immoral

by Nicole Dykes

Love whoever you want to love. Be free. Love hard always. And when you’re lucky enough to find your person, hold on tight and scream it out loud. Life’s too short to hate or to worry about being hated for who you love.

His eyes meet mine, and I feel that familiar feeling stirring low in my belly. One I’ve been trying to ignore for years. One I’ve tried to drink away. I’ve tried my best to get lost in the girls in our class and out on the baseball field. I’ve thrown myself into everything else, trying like hell to ignore the one thing I know deep down I want. Him.

Because now, I’ve had a fucking taste. And I have no idea how I’m going to come back from that.

“We’ll never be strangers. I don’t care if you push me away for fifty years. I’ll always be Bell, and you’ll always be Bailey.”

He turns to me. “You told your agent you’re gay?” I rub my temples with one hand. “If I hadn’t, you just did.” “Oh, fuck. Sorry.” He’s not, and it makes me laugh, which annoys me.

“You’re straight. I’m not. I’m a fucking guy, and you’re looking at me like . . . like . . .” He leans in closer, almost predatorily, and I think my lungs might actually burst from trying to take in air. “Like what?” My eyes involuntarily dip to his mouth, his full, pink lips. “Like you want another taste.”

“There’s nothing else. Just you and me. That’s it, and that’s all that fucking matters.”

“that I can’t just pull you into my arms and let that fucker know that you’re mine.” “Yours?” I nearly choke the word out. “Mine.” His voice is a deep growl that shoots straight to my already interested dick.

“There has only ever been music and you . . . So, those things . . . I put effort into them. I make them work. And I want this to work.”

“Then you can’t let anything else get in the way.” “I would for you.” And it’s true. Completely, 100 percent true. I would give up everything to be with him.

“I only remember shaking from nerves one time before. Right before my first live show. It was nerves, but it was also just plain excitement because I knew it was the start of something great, but this . . .” I kiss him again softly. “This is even better. This is everything.”

“When I’m a washed-up rockstar and your body has had enough of playing . . . We’ll travel. Maybe move to an island.” I grin. “You can’t swim.” The fucker sinks like a rock in water. “Guess it will be an island we never leave.”

“We’d never mess with your paycheck, Jen-nay.” I turn to Grady, shaking my head at his Forrest Gump impression, but I can’t help smiling.

“I’d rather have three weeks with you than nothing.”

He’s in love with me just as much as I’m in love with him, and we can’t tell the world because it’s full of too much hatred to accept our love.

“You’re not just anything, Grady. You’re everything.”

“I want to go to a bar with my boyfriend and hold his hand. I want to be able to kiss him in public without anyone batting an eye. I want to fucking love the man I’ve been in love with for years. Out. Loud.”

When he lifts our girl into his arms, I realize I thought I was whole before, but that was only one chapter of our story because now everything is right in the world. Nothing can touch me. The love of my life is holding the love of our lives,