I keep trying to come back to the food, to focus on what’s important, but my mind wanders to Andrew. My gut reaction when Howard pulled the gun. I tried to get in front of it. It didn’t matter because the others by the trees had their guns on both of us, but my focus was only on Howard’s gun, pointed at Andrew. Most of my night is spent imagining what would have happened if Andrew got hurt, if they killed him. And if I survived. I spiral, thinking about every possibility that could have happened. Mainly, though, I can’t figure out why the whole incident is affecting me so much. Andrew, who I
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