My Mess Is a Bit of a Life: Adventures in Anxiety

by Georgia Pritchett

I also appeared in the Nativity play as Stable Door.

Hahahaha - love it!!

would wear my yellow polyester smock and my green polyester flares.

Sounds pretty!

We were a highly flammable couple.

Wear polyester with caution

Whenever we went to the zoo, Granny would ask, ‘Which was your favourite animal?’ And I would answer, ‘The pigeons on the paths.’ And then she would swear.

The problem was, I couldn’t put my hand in the loo and rescue him because there was wee in the loo. That’s when I realised there is no such thing as unconditional love. (NB: My mum rescued him. And that’s when I realised my mum was not as concerned with personal hygiene as she should be.)

Brilliant!

The bee would visit a flower and get dusty legs. Then it would visit another flower and its legs would get more dusty. Then it would meet another bee with dusty legs. And then, well, it all gets a bit hazy, but somehow they had a baby bee. I’m not sure. I liked David a lot but I did not want to get dusty legs.

One way of knowing you have crossed from girlhood to womanhood is that men stop furtively masturbating at you from bushes and start shouting things at you from cars. It’s a beautiful moment. There should be some kind of ceremony.

Bahababaha - this book has so, so, so many laugh out loud moments!!

One woman opened her door and said that she had been a non-believer all her life but then last week, a miracle had happened and God had spoken to her. ‘What happened?’ asked the Christians eagerly. ‘There was a fire in my flat and I was fast asleep and I suddenly heard this booming voice,’ said the woman. ‘It was God calling to me.’ ‘What did He say?’ asked the Christians excitedly. ‘He said, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF BED!”’ Now that was a God I could believe in.

A wonderful observation by this good atheist.....love it. This book is hilarious 😂

my toast popped out of the toaster and, simultaneously, a flaming mouse was catapulted out of the other side. It was both spectacular and deeply upsetting.

Oh dear - "spectacular AND upsetting" :))))