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Then, Will froze, blinked once, and I heard it. The steady stream, almost like something was being ripped in a slow, constant line.
My chin trembled, everything threatening to spill over, and I didn’t know why. Stuff like that had happened before. It was no big deal. It wasn’t like it happened all the time.
People passed me, quiet and not a snicker to be heard, because Will Grayson had cast his net, letting them all know I was off-limits.
I chewed the corner of my mouth to hide the tremble. What did I care? What did it matter that I’d been humiliated again? What did it matter that he saw that in the gym?
He saw me. He saw that happen to me. He saw what the whole world thought of me, and now he . . . Now, he . . .
He curled his fingers, gripping me, and . . . and it took a moment to get a hold of myself.
He wouldn’t let go. Or look at me. He just tossed his black hoodie over our hands and chatted to the guy in the next seat like I wasn’t there.
Maybe he thought I didn’t want anyone to see. Maybe he didn’t want anyone to see. Either way, I didn’t care anymore.
Will rubbed his thumb across my finger, and my stomach flipped, the gesture comforting.
Let me take you home, it read.
Let me take you home,” he typed again.
My phone beeped, and it took a moment to look at it. I want to hold you like that, it read.
Take her home. She’ll drool all over your dumb haircut and extensive knowledge of microbrews and penis jokes.
I take you home, or I take you in my lap right here. Decide.
When the bus stops, get in my fucking truck. I breathed out a bitter laugh. Aw, someone’s lost his temper. Why? I asked. The next thing I know, the bus stopped, he yanked the earbuds out of my ears, and I sucked in a breath as he leaned into my face. “Because you’re mine,” he growled in a whisper.
What the . . . ? I stopped breathing as realization dawned. This was a trick. Dammit.
Goose bumps on my legs because I felt kind of pretty in the skirt now. Did he like it?
But we passed my house, not stopping or even slowing, and I popped my head up, looking back at my place through his back window. He maintained speed, not slowing as my house
“All I know is.” He sighed. “A week later, Edward McClanahan left a confession on his parents’ kitchen table and then followed her over the cliff. The last line of the confession read: We want what we want.”
Didn’t jump? So the rumors say Edward was pushed instead?
“I think that’s why I’ve always liked this time of day best. People hide in the dark. They quench their thirsts in the dark. They build their secrets in the dark. We’re more ourselves here than anywhere else. I get to be me”—he swallowed, staring at me—“when nightfall is coming.”
“We want what we want,” he whispered.
“Because I’m your man.”
If I let this happen—let him love me and protect me and all that shit he spewed—I’d just be trading one abuse for another. He’d use me, dump me, and I’d be worse off for it.
“Because we want what we want, Em! Jesus!”
“This isn’t happening,” I spat out, getting back in his face. “I’m not going to be the one all over you in the school hallways tomorrow in front of everyone. I’m something dirty you hide!”
“I would never stop touching you,” he said, his voice almost tired. “And I would touch only you.”
Out of all the boys in school, Will was the biggest threat. Not because he was handsome or because he was one of the
only ones who was ever somewhat interested in me, but because . . .
“No.” He stuffed the phone in his pocket. “I was getting ready to call your brother to report my stolen car.”
“I’ll be right here,” he said. “At seven.”
“It told me that you were at the Cove.” He walked away and leaned against the counter, his eyes on me. “Funny thing is, the Cove closed at eight tonight, and when I drove out there, all I saw was Will Grayson’s truck in the parking lot.”
“As if we don’t have enough problems, you go and get a reputation for being one of their little whores,” he said, stuffing another fistful into my mouth. “Thinking you’re going to be one of them. Thinking you’re better—and them thinking they’re better because they get to play with you like a toy!”
Will and the gazebo . . . Will and the gazebo . . .
I couldn’t think. I couldn’t remember what Will looked like. What my gazebo looked like. I didn’t have a gazebo. There was no Will Grayson. There was nothing but this.
CHAPTER 11
Another grunt followed by a groan with muffled whispers, and I took a step back, releasing the handle.
I stopped, seeing Will—naked, wet, flexed, and . . . My stomach dropped. And hard. I quickly backed up, dashing back behind the wall.
I breathed hard, but I didn’t move, remembering the last time I saw so much of him. He had been fit, his body unmarked back then, but before I could stop myself, I peered around the corner again, taking in the sight of him now, years later.
I dropped my eyes and froze, staring at the other hard muscle standing damn near upright, long and thick between his legs.
I gripped the wall for support, heat pooling between my legs as I chewed the inside of my mouth. I stared at his hard-on, and in the not-so-far recesses of my mind, I wondered what he was thinking about.
“What happened between you two?” he asked. “It’s not a coincidence that you’re here, you know?”
Will fisted his cock, leaning into the wall, eyes closed, and breathing hard.
“Does he have to?” I asked, my eyes trailing down his body again. “Why are we watching this?” “You’re watching this,” he explained. “I’m watching you.”
“Will and I are about the same age,” he said, “but I think we were probably very different in high school. He was the talker, right?” He smiled at me. “I was the quiet one.”
Will sucked in air between his teeth, his strokes harder and faster and the muscles in his arm tight.
It was like Will. He loved to love. He loved to be happy. He’d wanted to make me happy once.
Will squeezed his eyes shut, and I dropped my gaze to his cock again, my breathing nearly in sync with his strokes. What was he thinking about?
“I couldn’t look at her, much like he can’t look at you,” Aydin said.
He turned and walked away, leaving me there and feeling more alone than I ever had in my life.
