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There were dark deeds and bad seeds, but who cared if the house was falling apart as long as it was pretty, right?
Beware the fury of a patient man.
“You don’t, huh?” he replied, sounding snide. “You got everything covered? You’re in control?”
She thought she was nothing to me, insignificant and invisible. She wanted me to open my eyes and see her again so fucking badly, but she didn’t realize that I already did.
Yeah, you’re going to be in my bed, baby, but not until you wish you hated me.
The closer you got to anything beautiful, the less beautiful it became. Allure was in the mystery, not the appearance.
red. My favorite color. It was brave and confident but also aggressive and violent.
Three years ago, curious little Erika Fane wanted to play with the boys, so we indulged her, and she betrayed us. There was no way we’d forget.
But for three years, I’d been forced to look at her in my house, hear about her, and bide my time, when all I wanted was to be her nightmare. She was here, and we were ready.
“You’re a good girl on the outside, but no one knows who the hell you are on the inside, do they?”
“You can’t scare me,” I told him. I felt his hands take mine and pull them off his chest. “I already do.”
“They tell us that what we want is wrong and that freedom is dirty. They see chaos, madness, and fucking as ugly, and the older you get, the smaller that box gets. You feel it closing in already, don’t you?”
“Own who you are,” he commanded. “And don’t apologize. Do you understand? Own it or it will own you.”
I was losing. When she was around, she made everything else small, and all I could see was her. All the years of misery she caused my friends suddenly didn’t matter, my focus blurred, and I lost sight of what she’d done and how my friends had suffered.
I hated her. I had to hate her. I didn’t have to force her in the car today. I didn’t care about the tears in her eyes or the way she couldn’t look at me before she climbed out. I didn’t want to wipe away the hurt, I didn’t want to touch her, and I didn’t want to get her to scream at me again, because I’d never been so turned on.
“No one fucks with you but us,” he warned with a sinister smile.
“When you want to make an impression and you think you’ve gone far enough, go a little further. Always leave them wondering if you’re just a little bit crazy, and people will never fuck with you again.”
And the things that were irreplaceable in life were the only things of value.
“No worries, Mrs. Crist,” I gritted out, squeezing my eyes shut. “I can handle him.” “Can you?” he mocked in my ear.
“So you like the mask. You’re pretty fucking sick, aren’t you?” he teased.
“Just like me,” he whispered. And
“Such a beautiful little monster,” he whispered, his chest heaving.
Our scrapes and bruises, tattoos, scars, smiles, and wrinkles told our stories, and I didn’t want a pristine piece of wallpaper. I wanted her and everything she was. At least for tonight.
When she finally realized that my opinion was the only one that mattered.
Why her? Why, despite my mother, who always loved me, and my friends, who always had my back, was it Erika Fane who put the air in my lungs or made my blood run hot? She always got to me.
The most valuable lesson anyone learns in life should be learned as early as possible. That you don’t have to live in the reality someone else invented. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.
Redefine normal. None of us know the full measure of our power until we start pushing our boundaries and pressing our luck, and the more we do, the less we care what others think. The freedom feels too good.
My body was on fire, and I was gone. Completely lost in her mouth and the way the buzz under my skin traveled across my face, down my neck, warming my chest. So many times of needing to be close to her, talk to her, see her smile at me, and now I had her in my arms, I never wanted to let her go. Nothing—nothing—had ever felt this good.
“This is what we were built for, Michael. You and me.”
All I knew was that we were the same. Did that mean I’d fall in love with her, marry her, be faithful, and live the same day over and over again in this fucking suburb?
She and I were built for something different. I would piss her off, I’d be difficult, and I’d be just as much of a nightmare to her as a dream, but after nearly seventeen years of this pull with her, I knew one thing. I would always circle her.
Make sure no one fucked with her. Or fucked with what was mine.
I narrowed my eyes, searching hers. “Do you think anyone would be as important as you are?”
“I want you,” she choked out. “Forever I’ve wanted you, and now I feel . . .” She looked up, her eyes glistening. “What?” I bit out. “Dirty,” she finally answered. “I felt like your friend tonight. You saw me, you liked me, you respected me . . . And now I feel like a simple, stupid girl—a dirty secret that needs to sit quiet in a corner and wait for your word to speak or move. I don’t feel like your equal anymore.”
There was no way I was going to be able to go through with this. She was mine.
“Oh, yes, you will!” she snarled back, challenging him. “You’re the pack’s dog. Come fetch, little dog!” I couldn’t help the curl of my lips. Good girl.
Being scared wasn’t a weakness. But letting it force my head down and my voice quiet was. Fear wasn’t the enemy. It was the teacher.
“You’re threatening us?” Michael’s menacing tone made my stomach flip. “No,” I answered. “That’s what you did to me. I’m simply playing your game.”
“You want to know what I’ve learned? I don’t win by playing your games. I win by making you play mine.”
“Don’t look to him, Rika.” “Why not?” He darted out, catching my bottom lip between his teeth, the heat of his mouth sending shivers down my spine. “Because you get everything you need from me,” he argued, his hot tongue flicking my upper lip. “And you’d only be doing it to fade me out, anyway, and that will never happen.”
“A new man. A new mouth.” His fist tightened in my hair, and his teeth brushed over my skin, warning me. “If you ever let that happen, I will make you sorry.”
“And there are lots of guys here, too,” I threw back, following him down the stairs. He stopped in the foyer and turned around to look at me, a dare in his eyes. “Is that so?” And then he smiled and twisted his head around, speaking to the crowd. “Listen up!” he shouted to all the guests hanging out. “Rika Fane is Horsemen property. Any guy lays a hand on her has to deal with us!” And then he turned back to me, lowering his voice with a smirk. “Good luck.”
What if I’d completely corrupted her? What if she’d begun to like playing games too much, and the lust to play—and to win—overpowered her need for me? What if her heart had hardened so much that she closed herself off in order to survive?
She was winning. I was playing her game, and I was fucking losing. God, I wanted her so goddamn much. But this wasn’t over.
What the hell was the matter with me? Was all the power I felt pretending like she didn’t exist greater than how fucking good she felt when I had her in my arms? No. Not even close.
“Because you’ve corrupted her nice and good. She’s a force now, and it won’t be long before she’s brave enough to demand what she wants. If you don’t give it to her, she’ll find someone else who will.” I turned my head, peering over at him. “I don’t need your warnings. I don’t lose.” “That wasn’t a warning,” he shot back, not taking his eyes off her. “That was a threat.” And then he looked at me as he turned to leave. “Watch your back, brother.”
I fell, and I never even tried to stop myself. Lust and logic sat on my shoulders like the modern-day angel and devil, one telling me to trust my heart and the other telling me that I would never be able to trust his.
“Let’s go,” Michael stood up and turned for the door, grabbing my hand. But I yanked it out, smiling even though he couldn’t see my face under the mask. “Do you normally hold Will’s hand?” He paused as if realizing what he’d done. “Good point.”
“Rika,” he whispered against my neck. “I need you. I need you every day, every hour, every minute . . .”
“Tell her you love her,” a deep voice echoed. “Jesus Christ.” I shot my head up, Michael doing the same as we scanned the billows of steam and finally made out a pair of legs on the top level swinging over the edge as he sat up. “Is it that fucking hard?”
