Marriage: 100 Stories Around India’s Favourite Ritual

by Devdutt Pattanaik

In responsibility, success and pleasure, may I (the bride) always be on your side. In responsibility, success and pleasure, may I (the groom) always be on your side.

Within infinite myths, lies an eternal truth Who sees it all? Varuna has but a thousand eyes Indra, a hundred You and I, only two

Vedic literature insists that marriage is a rite of passage, without which a man cannot perform a yagna. Without a yagna you cannot feed family, gods or ancestors. What use are you then without marriage?

In Brahmanas (late Vedic scriptures) diversity is created when Prajapati chases his daughter who takes the form of various animals. In Puranas, Brahma’s mind-born son Marichi has a son called Kashyapa who marries many women and produces nature’s diversity. The common father explains why all creatures have the same spirit (atma) and why we say ‘the whole world is one family’ (vasudhaiva kutumbakam) but the fact about different mothers explains the different kinds of species, bodies and communities.

Parvati, the mountain princess, meditated and thought of none but Shiva, until Shiva appeared and offered her a boon. ‘Marry me,’ she said. But he told her that he had conquered Kama. Why did he need a wife then? ‘Because,’ Parvati replied, ‘marriage is not just the quenching of desire. It is also about looking beyond one’s own desires at the desires of others. It is about caring and sharing.’ Shiva liked her words and agreed to marry her.

It is a story of a groom being domesticated:

But when Narasimha drank the blood of the asura, he was consumed by rage, passion and madness. The gods did not know how to control him. Shiva tried to control him using force but that worked only temporarily. So, the gods told Lakshmi to intervene. She came to him with a smile on her face, speaking soothing words. Gently, she calmed him down, sat in his lap and reminded him who he was, a god who cares. That is what spouses do.

Similarly, fierce forms of Shiva, like Rudra, are always balanced by the loving image of Gauri. When the goddess becomes wild as Kali, Shiva takes the form of Shankara, lies in her path and calms her down with his tranquil beauty.

The story draws attention to the role of spouses in balancing the energies of their husbands or wives. Like the Chinese yin-yang, Indian tantra has ida-pingala, or moon-sun, to represent the balanced couple.

Gangamma, was lonely and so she created Brahma.

Brahma addressed her as Amma,

Vishnu addressed her as Ak...

Finally, she created Shiva, who did not say anything. She liked him and a...

Shiva divided the ash into three piles. From the first pile came Saraswati who married Brahma. From the second pile came Lakshmi who married Vishnu and from the third pile came Kali who married Shiva.

From the remainder ash came 84,000 village goddesses (grama-devi) who belong to everyone but are owned by no one. Each one is a mother without a husband. Each one has children—the villagers—who they feed and punish with disease and drought.

oral tradition.

A wife enables a man to repay his debt to his ancestors, by fathering children. That is why marriage was invented. A wife thus liberates her husband from debt. She saves the ancestors from eternal suffering.

five daughters.

the youngest wanted only children, no husband.

the youngest girl, Kadali, turned into plantain—a plant that comes back t...

It is self-sufficient with male and f...

The idea of a chaste woman being able to protect herself is a recurring theme in Hindu lore, which has the unfortunate sequence of people assuming that women who get molested and sexually abused are unchaste.