More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
My lips part, whispering the words I know he’ll never hear. “It was all worth it. You are mine, and I am yours.”
There is no me without him. No world I’d be forced to exist in without him in it. The thought is unbearable. Physically fucking unbearable.
Because there are no stars and no purpose. Without Calder, nothing exists.
“I bleed for him. Calder isn’t something I move on from, you callous whore. This is what misery looks like. But then, what do you care, right? You wish I were dead. Remember?”
“One day, everything you’ve built will burn to the fucking ground. And I’ll be there to strike the match.”
“The day Calder comes will be everyone’s reckoning. And I won’t even pray for your souls.”
“I heard her whisper my name. I know she’s not dead. I’ve been chasing her voice back here from hell. Because no-fucking-body keeps me from her.”
“You’re always mine, baby. Even in goodbye.”
“You’re my home, Sutton,”
“And I’ll always come back. But we can’t have magic and forever until I make the rules. Until I’m king.”
“How am I going to exist without you?” Calder gently grips my jaw, bringing my face to his, our eyes locked. “You don’t. There is no fucking difference between where I begin and you end. Not now, not ever. So we’ll do what we have to so that we survive until we’re together again.”
“It doesn’t fucking matter what happens in the in-between, Sutton. Because I’ve seen the world without you, baby.” His eyes meet mine. “And on my fucking life, we won’t die before I know it with you again.” I suck in a breath, holding back more tears that are begging to fall. “Promise on us,” I whisper.
“I vow to always love you above all others. No matter what.”
“I vow to always love you above all others. No matter what.”
“I will always protect you, even with my life.”
“And I will always protect you, even against yourself.”
“I promise to die by your side when we’re wrinkly and fucking gray. So that we’ll never be apart again.”
“And I promise to love you even after death.”
“I’m yours. And you are mine. Not even death does us part.” “Forever,” I whisper back, leaning into his kiss. But this isn’t just a kiss. It’s the consecration of our love—our vows. A declaration to the universe that we’re fated and nothing can keep us apart.
Because I love her down to the depths of my soul. So fucking much that it makes me dangerous.
Soul mate would be the easy word, but what I feel is deeper. I recognize my soul in her. Like it’s split between us, and we’re only whole when we’re together.
“I want us, Calder. It felt like there was nothing between us when we did this before. We didn’t have to be strong or brave. We were just raw, stripped down, and so in love. I want to feel that, the real us, before all the fucking tragedy. I just want to be that girl that gets stars and magic, just one more time before we say goodbye.”
bringing his eyes back to mine. They’re so full of love that it takes my breath away. This is magic. He’s all the fucking magic, and it hurts how much I fucking love him.
“Baby, your pussy is heroin. Pure unadulterated fucking heroin. And I’ll never get enough.”
“Why are you a liar?” “Because I said I’d walk away. But if you tell me to follow you, right now—this very moment—I won’t look back.”
My life was always about you. Before I knew it. You saved me. Gave me purpose. Led me to be the man I was supposed to become. Because for an angel to walk on this earth, it’ll need the protection of the Devil. There are a lot of empty pages I’ll never be able to fill in, so now it’s your turn. Tell me everything. Yell, scream, and cry in here, baby. Because one day I’ll read it all. Soon. –C
“Because if you keep doing this, shutting her out, shutting me out, not talking about West, then when you get her back, the man you’ve become won’t even be close to the one she loves.”
But I don’t want to always be the one everyone needs to look after. I want to know that I can take care of myself.
“Hunter”—I bite my bottom lip leaning forward—“I’m a whole kind of bitch you aren’t prepared for now. This version of me fights dirty. So be very careful, or I’ll cut your dick off with the butter knife when nobody’s looking.”
So move your hand because I won’t tell you again. I love you, but I will kill you if you come between me and my fucking girl. Make no mistake. I will put a gun in your mouth and blow you away if you try to keep me from her.”
“Say we don’t have to run or live in fear. Tell me you’re here to give me what you promised. Us with all the magic, and forever. If you can’t say that, then listen to Roman and leave.”
“All that keeps me going is knowing you’re okay…but now you’re here, and I know they’re making you do this…and I keep thinking—at what cost?” My voice trails off, filled with too much anger. “Because I know the fucking cost. I’ve paid it.” I lift my eyes to hers, pushing off the wall. “Don’t ask me to walk away.” “Don’t ask me to run,” she cuts back.
“Then tell me how to walk away. Go ahead, tell me how when I feel like this”—I motion between us—“it’s like my soul tore from my body the minute I saw you because it was desperate to reunite with its other half. You’re like a homecoming.”
“How do I stop feeling that? I look at you and all I want to do is carry you the fuck out of here. Put you in the car and let you hold on to me as we fucking drive away. So tell me…how do I walk away, when everything inside of me says otherwise?”
“I love you,” I breathe. “I fucking love you.”
“I won’t condemn you to my hell. I’ll kill them all. Your mom, your dad, Connor, Hunter. All of them. Today.”
“I want you, Calder. But I also want picnics and movies and car rides in the rain. I want to hold your hand while we walk down the street. I want your last name as my own and one day to have your babies.”
“None of that can happen if we leave today. You said it—we survive the best we can until we’re together again. It doesn’t matter what’s happened or what will happen because I’m still fucking standing. And I’ll be standing when you take your place. We don’t run. Ever again.”
“I learned how to stand on my own two feet and how to be strong because of you. So that I can carry you too. And now is when you listen to me, Wesley.”
“Go and finish this, and then come home.”
The way she says home almost breaks me because she means her. She’s my home.
It wouldn’t matter if today were ten years later. I am his.
Calder’s traded his soul for me—for us. And I love him more for it.
It’s not that I only want him. I need him. Like the fucking air to breathe. But I need all of him, not just a piece, because that could never be enough.
“The only thing I’ll trade you is my silence for yours. Touch me again and I promise to make sure Calder knows. It would be worth all of us dying just to see him tear you the fuck apart.”
*kiss me right now while you’re reading this and say, “I’m so lucky to have such a smart and beautiful girl.”
I love you more today. I want you to know that too. I love you MORE today, and I see you for everything
And my favorite part of what I see is that you’re mine.
“Romes, I should’ve said this shit earlier—but thank you. You tried to protect me from me, but more importantly, you tried to protect her. And I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.”
“God, I miss you in the most nonromantic, whorey way, Calder Wolfe. Today your dick is my rather.”
