Broken Wings (Broken Chains MC, #3)

by E.M. Lindsey

The human heart has hidden treasures In secret kept, in silence sealed The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures Whose charms were broken if revealed. -Charlotte Bronte

The officer patch on the breast of his cut—the vow he took for his brothers—that was the first time he ever felt like he was standing on steady ground. It was easy to look at the men who stood next to him and know he would die for them—in more ways than he’d ever been willing to die for anyone. He’d lay his life on the line, and more than that, he’d put bodies in the ground without hesitation. And he had.

“Send me the address and tell me I’m not gonna have to fuckin’ knock this guy out and hog tie him just to get him back here,” he said, rummaging through his drawer for his gun.

Kicks wasn’t afraid to die, but he was afraid to give in to the madness he sometimes felt clawing at his edges. Stronger men had been taken down by a lot less, and he knew that there were days he was hanging on by the skin of his teeth.

“Trust Eliah to send such a fucking wanker…” “What’s a wanker?” Kicks asked, watching with a narrowed eye. The guy looked up at him, and the corners of his mouth lifted before he raised his hand and made a motion like he was jerking off. “I think you can infer it’s not a compliment.”

“Thinking about going for a jog?” Jude bristled and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Are you the comedian of your motorcycle gang?” At that, his smile disappeared. “Our club is not a gang. Just like I know you’re not a damn priest.” The icy tone in his words told Jude he’d crossed some line he hadn’t known was there.

No matter what the guy did—the person he loved always forgave him. Like there was no sin not worth forgiving.”

“No one owns it. I mean, someone owns it, but no one actually lives here.” “So, it really is a safe house,” Jude said. Kicks raised a brow. “I guess.” Sniffing, Jude looked from left to right, then leaned closer to him. “Doesn’t feel very safe.” “Well, you ain’t dead yet, are you?” he challenged.

“So, how was your soul searching?” Choking on his second bite, Kicks pounded his fist in the center of his chest. “My what?” “Well, you stormed off looking like you wanted to tear apart a tree with your bare hands. Now, you’re here and smiling.” Jude took some of the crust between his thumb and forefinger and nibbled on it before shrugging and eating the whole thing. “I assumed you made peace with your god.”

Jude rolled his eyes. “Your name. What’s your name? I know it’s not Kicks if your brother was called Diego.”

“Emilio, but literally no one calls me that anymore.” Jude bit his lip. “It’s a nice name.”

“You wouldn’t feel passionate about it if it was just a name. And I don’t entirely understand biker culture, but I have to imagine your road names mean something to you.” Kicks sighed and dragged a hand down his face. “Yeah, it means that I like to kick the shit out of people who ask too many goddamn questions.”

“Sounds like he’ll fit in with the Chains. We’re all a bunch of fuckin’ misfits. When the club first started, Gunner kept calling it Club Loser because we were a bunch of rejects. We didn’t fit in anywhere—not in normal society, not in other clubs, so Smokey decided to make our world fit us.”

“It doesn’t need to be,” Jude said, then leaned in and bit the inside of Kicks’ wrist. “What better way to pass the time than mutual orgasms.”

“Jesus, fuck me.” The word tumbled from his lips, a little thoughtless, a lot desperate. His dick was so hard it hurt, and he knew it was over. The rabbi had won. His defenses were down, and there was no turning back.

I’m a bit too old to take it up the ass with spit-lube, but I’ve had years of experience finding clever ways to get off.” “Have you?” Kicks rasped. His fingers trembled as he fought for purchase in Jude’s shirt. Jude pulled back a little, and his brow was furrowed as he stared down at Kicks’ hands. “Are you…bloody hell, you’re not a virgin?” Kicks moved to shove him off, but Jude clung too tight that all Kicks managed was to jostle him a little. It made their dicks rub together harder, and his face went even hotter. “No, but it’s been a goddamn long time. Does that bother you?”

If his inhibitions were any lower, Jude really would be willing to accept a bit of spit-lube and a sore arse if it meant he could get fucked against one of the cabin’s shitty little walls. Especially now that he knew how well Emilio responded to commands—how much he wanted it.

“You don’t get to be an engineer without being at least part nerd.” His lips threatened to curve into a smile, but he managed to hold it back. “Secret romantic nerd.” Emilio shrugged and handed the bottle back, now half gone. “And you’re a rabbi who says fuck way too much, sucks dick like a god, and drinks.”

His flat was full of things that held some sentimental value—and they’d traveled with him across the ocean and to this new place he planned to call home. But it was only sitting there with Emilio watching the sun set behind the trees that he realized he’d never let anywhere actually feel like home. He’d worked, he’d studied, he’d socialized. He ate, he drank, he fucked. He was spiritual, and he was all-too human, and he was so, so bloody lost.

“Do anything unless you order it, right?” Jude snapped. Emilio’s brows rose, but instead of arguing, he shrugged. “I like a man who can follow orders.” Jude took a step closer. “So do I—as you have already seen.”

“I wasn’t expecting to hear from you, Doctor Rory,” he said, leaning against the counter to take some of the weight off his legs. Rory snorted. “You know, that wasn’t cute the first time, and it’s not cute now.”

Kicks squeezed his eyes shut. “Who told you?” “I overheard Mace on the phone. Fucker still seems to think that because I can’t see, I can’t hear him.” Rory’s voice was more amused than irritated, though Kicks made a mental note to knock the dumb fuck over the head a couple more times until he got it right. “I’m going to say yes.”

“Yeah, that’s why I called,” Rory said, and Kicks could hear the grin in his voice. “We blind bros need to stick together.” Kicks rolled his eye. “I’m only halfway there.” “Which is why you’re driving,” Rory said, then laughed like he found his bad joke actually funny. “Talk soon, man.”

“He had surgery on his knee. I guess he fucked it up pretty bad, jumping out that window. He won’t be running marathons anytime soon, and Eliah’s pissed because he got himself an apartment and keeps kicking him out every time he shows up to help.” Kicks grimaced, and his stomach twisted uncomfortably. “Where does he live?” At that, Smokey turned and gave him a pointed stare. “Why? You wanna go play nursemaid?” “Oh, fuck you,” he started, then licked his lips. “But I probably should go see him, you know? I mean, half that shit was my fault.”

“You’ll probably think I’m a jackass if I say it was because I missed you.” “No, I’d think you were a liar,” Jude said, hoping he was right, because he didn’t want this man to miss him. This man was complicated and difficult and terrifying. This man was the opposite of anything and everything Jude had ever known.

“That’s fine. I’m on my way, only about ten minutes from your place. You think you can hang that long?” Jude snorted. “Provided he doesn’t take out a gun and shoot me?” “He’s not going to do that. Fucker wants you scared, babe. He wants you to know he knows where you live and that he can find you. He wouldn’t be out in the open like this if he planned on doing anything now.”

Emilio laughed, and he sounded like he was smiling when he spoke again., “I’m not here to make assumptions about you, babe. I like women just as much as I like men. I don’t think I give a shit about gender at all. But I also haven’t fucked a lot of people. I don’t…” There was something tight in his voice, and he let out a breath that almost sounded shaky. “Tell me what happened with the jock.”

Gunner shoved his phone into his pocket and clapped him on the arm. “I’ll be there before you need to roll out. Maddie wants to say hi. She’s been up my ass about a sleepover.” Kicks laughed. “Why don’t I take her the night before? You and Logan can fuck in every room of the house. I, uh…” Kicks shrugged and glanced away. “I miss her.”

“Church didn’t go as long as usual, but that’s because we don’t got new information.” At that, Jude’s mouth quirked into something like a smile. “It still kills me that you lot call it church.”

He leaned in, unable to help himself. A line he told himself never to cross had been obliterated, and not even God Himself could stop him now. He curled his fingers around Jude’s wrists, and he leaned in so their lips were inches apart. “I am who I am. I’m a fucked-up man trying to keep his shit together—a man terrified of letting strangers close to me because I’ve been burned—literally—and I barely made it through the first time. And you’re the man who saved my life with no goddamn reason to do it…”

Kicks swallowed, then breathed out through his nose. “Just give me one.” “This,” Jude said, pressing one hand over Kicks’ beating heart without missing a beat. “From the moment we got on your bloody bike and started on the road here, I knew once wasn’t going to be enough. You were so bloody good—and so ready to just let me take you—to trust me to take you where you needed to go.”

“I wanted to be able to touch you again. I wanted…” Jude’s voice cracked a little, and he paused to catch his breath. “I wanted you to want this again.”

Jude let out a ragged moan, shifting as close as he could manage, his fingers tightening against Kicks’ skin. “If you don’t…” Jude broke off with a growl, his hand leaving the side of Kicks’ ribs, moving down to cup his groin where his cock was straining against his zipper. His other hand tightened on Kicks’ throat just enough to make him really feel it. “If you don’t stop me now, I’m going to take everything I couldn’t when we were back at that house.”

“I want you to. I need it, please. Please.” Jude’s look was molten desire. He cupped Kicks’ cheek with one hand, his thumb dragging over his lip before it pushed between his teeth and rested against his tongue. “Yes.”

“Wings,” came Jude’s soft reply. Kicks’ entire body stiffened, but before he could turn, a hand touched him. He jumped, but it only lasted a second as Jude’s nails brushed just shy of too hard around the edges of his scars. “You gave yourself wings.” Kicks closed his eyes, relishing the darkness. “Broken wings,” he corrected. “Hawke did them after I joined the Chains. He told me to lean into my past.” He gave a whole-body twitch when warm lips pressed to the center of his spine, then moved up to the back of his neck. He felt teeth next, then a warm tongue, then Jude sucked hard.

“I like seeing my mark on you,” Jude murmured, speaking right against his skin. “I want to keep you like this.”

“I’ve got you. I want you to trust me.”

“I found some interesting things under your sink, Emilio.” Jude was most definitely smiling now—he could hear it. “Do you mind?” “No,” he breathed out, shaking his head. He tried to look over his shoulder, but Jude was too quick. His fingers dug into Kicks’ hair and kept his face pointed toward the bed. “Trust me,” he said—again, almost like a question, but not quite.

Kicks panted, then nodded and fought the urge to squirm. “I want it all. I’m…I’m yours.”

“And it looks like you know how to enjoy it.” He swallowed thickly. “Please.” “Oh, my love, I’m not going to make you beg for it.” Somehow, it sounded like a threat, and that was even more evident when he felt lube drizzle over his hole, and then the pointed tip of the plug rested in the mess there. “I just want to make sure you’re nice and loose and open before I fuck you.”

“This is my family, you know? We’re ride or die—literally. And I trust them, because in the years I’ve been here with them, they’ve proven to me that it goes both ways.”

“It wouldn’t be worth fighting for if I knew it was a losing battle,” Emilio went on, his voice even lower now. He dug his fingers into the back of Jude’s hair, careful of his kippah, but the touch impossibly possessive. “If I didn’t know first-hand that you were capable of saving my ass when I needed you most, I’d have second thoughts.”

“But, I do know all those things. I know you’re worth it. I know you’re strong and brave as hell. I know I could put my life in your hands, and I’d come out the other side.”

“I can’t say I’ll ever know what the fuck I want in life, but I know that I’m home. I know these are my brothers.” He went quiet for a while, then he dragged his thumb over Jude’s bottom lip. “I know I want you here, for as long as you want to stay.”

“For now,” Jude said, closing his eyes and leaning close. “It feels like forever.” “I can take that,” Emilio said, and it was like a jolt to his system when he realized that Emilio was being completely and entirely honest.

Jude followed him into the kitchen after Emilio jerked his head toward the door, then he let out a small breath as the man shoved him against the wall and kissed him. Hard. “I hate keeping my hands to myself,” he growled.

He reached for him and tugged him close, kissing him. “I trust you. But I think I’ll always worry.” “You and me both, babe,” he murmured. Jude let the casual, kind word settle under his skin as Emilio finished plating the snack for Maddie, then the two of them moved into the lounge and settled on the sofa. Jude put his leg up again, the throbbing a little less with his brace, but he was looking forward to getting the damn thing off and being able to move on his own again.

“Melly, do you think he could stay with us?” Emilio glanced over at Jude, and there was heat in his gaze. “If he wants.” “I do like it here,” Jude said very softly, and he smiled when she nestled in a little closer, then turned her attention back to the TV.

Running his thumb over his officer patch, he shoved all thoughts of Jude and love and everything else that came with the mess of that man falling into his life, into the shadows of his mind. He had to focus. Taking care of club business had to come first.

“I won’t change my mind,” he murmured softly. “I hope that’s not a deal breaker.” Kicks couldn’t do anything but smile a little helplessly and lean in to kiss him. “Nah. I mean, we might have to have a talk about this fuckin’ tea nonsense, but the kid thing—I can live with it.”