Breaking the Bully

by Jessa Kane

It’s true what they say about misery loving company. Because I’m miserable without her and she’s coming with me.

If this kid is asking her out, she’d probably say yes. If I let it get that far, which I won’t. I never do. She’s mine. Even if she never looks at me or speaks to me again, she’s mine.

He’s not the first to try and make a move on Allie. He knew this was coming, it’s there in his darting eyes. Yet he tried anyway. Because she’s worth the risk of an ass kicking. She’s worth a lifetime of them.

The only sign that she hears me at all is the quickening rise and fall of her shoulders. Even that small display that I’ve upset her is agonizing, floods me with self-loathing, but I can never stop. She ripped out my fucking heart and I can’t deal with the consequences of that alone. I can’t let her go. I’ll never let her go.

I can’t breathe without having her close. And I can’t breathe with her close. It’s a strange condition, this obsession, but she’s an addiction I’m never giving up.

Ask me to bring you a unicorn horn. I’ll find a way to do it.

“I’ve made a study out of you, Allie James. I’ve been hanging on your every sigh, every expression and mood for years. Years. If you don’t think I’ve obsessed weeks of my life away over how you’d like to be fucked, baby, you’re sorely mistaken.”

Outdoors is where she belongs. Under the volatile sky.

“You can’t tell I would murder, lie and steal to have you look at me?”

“It finally happened,” she whispers, her voice almost camouflaged by the rain. “What did, baby?” The smile she gives me is almost shy. “I got to be part of the storm.”

Fighting a pull, battling an urge that is self destructive, but also promises an incredible high before the downward spiral.

Every second of my life. Now. Forever. You own me, whether you want me or not.”

My love for Moore is a little gnarled. A little bent and unusual. It’s cloudy like the sky I adore so much. Volatile. But it’s mine. I miss it. I want and need and crave it. I can say that now with the confidence of someone who is walking her own path. I’ve created a life for myself. I’m free of pain and violence. I’m at peace. I’m incomplete, though. My other half is missing and the more time that passes, the more I limp along. The more my heart feels like a hollowed out husk. This love isn’t going away. It’s growing heavier, like weight being added to my chest, making it harder and harder to breathe.

“The flare. Was that goodbye, Allie?” His swallow is audible, his gaze nearly deranged with fear, hope, obsession. “Or do you need me?”

She’s always loved storms. I’m her wildest one of all.

We’d learned that life was a sham without each other. Nothing to hide anymore. Nowhere to hide—and no desire to try. And nothing has changed. If anything, we’re much wilder now. Constantly gut starved for each other.