Finding You (Chikalu Falls, #1)

by Lena Hendrix

At my next leave, I’d gotten a tattoo of the Valkyrie wings spread across my right forearm so I could have a visual reminder of her. I could always keep her with me.

It was marred with fresh, angry scars but it was there. My goddess had been with me in battle, and I’d survived.

More disappointed than sad, I tried not to think about whether any man would ever see me as more than just one of the guys.

I still couldn’t get out of the habit of carrying her letter with me on the hard days. I was fully aware that made me creepy as fuck, but I didn’t care.

all I could focus on was my beer in front of me and the fact that the woman I hadn’t been able to shake for the last seven years was not only possibly standing right in front of me but clearly the object of my little brother’s major crush.

I knew it was wrong to think about my best friend’s brother like that, but I couldn’t help it. I was drawn to Lincoln.

We needed to have a serious talk about whether or not he was going to pursue Jo—because if he wasn’t, game on.

My thoughts briefly flew to Finn. Watching Jo the way I was certainly wasn’t very honorable, but she held my gaze as she took a long drink of water, and right then I knew. I would risk everything to be with her.

Growly, protective Lincoln was quickly becoming my new favorite thing.

“Not hanging with the boys tonight?” I called. “Not tonight. The view is better up here.” Oh, shit. Did he smirk? Was he talking about me? No fucking way.

Being able to take care of yourself and wanting someone to want to take care of you were two very different things.

I swear to god that man could incinerate every set of panties within a hundred-mile radius with that smile.

It would be a good thing when Finn could finally talk to his brother. Air everything out. Until then, I planned to keep my growing attraction to Finn’s moody older brother to myself.

I didn’t want to think about the dreams and why I kept having them. Joanna was my fantasy come to life, but she was haunting me. What the fuck was that about?

All morning, I couldn’t get out of my own head and had struggled to focus on providing high-quality customer service. You got some high-quality customer service last night . . . Oh my god, that was exactly what I meant. Focus.

Lincoln’s sheer manliness and control ignited the most feminine parts inside of me.

Twice I’d caught her touching the bracelet I’d made for her and I thought I had seen a flash of a dimple. God, she made me feel like I was twelve years old again. I hoped she liked it. It was rugged and simple, but it matched the bracelet I always wore.

“This is wild. I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming, but I think I love it.”

I think the Marines made sure he mastered the art of burying emotions.” Finn continued, “But you know that’s no excuse, right? I mean, I love him, but if he doesn’t see that being with you would be, like, the greatest thing to ever happen to him, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

Where words failed me, I wanted to show her how completely undone she made me.

There was an overwhelming desire to protect her taking root inside of me, and I wasn’t sure what to do with that.

Lincoln’s words from last night echoed in my memory. Please tell me you aren’t leaving. When he spoke those words, desperation thick in his voice, I couldn’t deny him.

It reminded me of what grandma Nana used to say—there were no strangers in Chikalu Falls, only friends you hadn’t met yet.

I was determined to relax and enjoy my time in Chikalu. I refused to think this oddly felt like coming home.

I couldn’t keep telling myself that this was a girlhood crush anymore. I was falling hard and fast for this man and I wanted all of him—broken, scarred, funny, kind—all of it.

But right then, in that moment, I pulled her even closer to me, nuzzling my nose into her hair. I may not be able to have her forever, but I could pretend tonight that I could.

Just out of reach, always, was Joanna—my Valkyrie. In my dreams, I strained, begged for her, but she would never take me. In the darkness, when I tried to calm my breath without waking Joanna, I thought back to her letters. It was only then I realized exactly why my dreams were playing out in a horrible, repetitive pattern. The Valkyrie only take the worthy.

I love you. I love you. I love you. Over and over, the words tumbled through my mind. I would never be the same without Joanna.

“Lincoln,” my mother’s voice went quiet, “you carry the weight of the world around on those big shoulders of yours. I think sometimes you forget that you’re allowed to put the weight down.”

Apparently, being a successful adult male didn’t make you need your mom any less.

I was angry at myself for missing her. I had made the decision to let her go. I should have felt better that she was no longer tied to a man who would only drag her down, but all I felt was emptiness.

As she turned away, the distance between us expanded as I watched my soul walk away from me.

“You thinking that I had some claim on her is just an excuse. An excuse to punish yourself for feeling anything real. For believing that you’re unworthy of love.”

She loved all of me and I had pushed her away—not because I was protecting her, but because I was protecting myself.

I’m aware that she deserves so much more than me, but I’ll be damned if another asshole takes my place. I need to show her it’s always been her.”

I need you to know that I will carry you with me for the rest of my life.

Joanna, my heart beats to the rhythm of yours and the best thing to ever happen to me was finding you.

I had handed every part of me to Joanna. She had my body, my heart, my soul.

Before moving to Chikalu Falls, I thought I had everything I needed, but someone to love. Turns out that I also needed a home, friendships, and to truly belong.

I knew it would take a while, but I was going to be damn sure that Joanna’s dreams came true. Funny thing is, somewhere along the line, her dreams and mine got all tangled up and I really couldn’t separate the two.

The diamond was probably a little big, but I was going to marry the fuck out of that girl and everyone was going to know it.