If This Gets Out

by Sophie Gonzales

It’s funny how time and space cast a rosy glow over memories, making them seem less painful than they were in reality.

The thing about your dreams coming true is that, for a gold-spun moment, you catch a glimpse of what life could be like. Then when you lose it, and you crash back to reality, it’s from such a great height, all you can do is lie there, winded and bruised, while you come to terms with the idea that a happiness like that isn’t meant for you.

Once you’ve learned shame, it settles into your skin like a tattoo. You can cover it up but you can’t scrub off the sense of inadequacy.

We’re Schrödinger’s boyfriends. We both have a future together, and we’re about to crash and burn,