If This Gets Out

by Sophie Gonzales

“Oh my god, I’m touching Ruben!”

That's what he said

I touch my lips, and wonder if they’re as soft as his, then I push the thought away.

*cough* gay

At least it’ll drown out any noise that comes from Angel’s room,

That's what he said

The thing about your dreams coming true is that, for a gold-spun moment, you catch a glimpse of what life could be like. Then when you lose it, and you crash back to reality, it’s from such a great height, all you can do is lie there, winded and bruised, while you come to terms with the idea that a happiness like that isn’t meant for you.

I think I'm very slightly more depressed after reading this

Ready when you are.

That's what he said

That doesn't look like a word anymore

“I don’t even know anymore.”

I thought this said I don't even know my name anymore. I should really go to sleep

“Do I not count?”

That's called manipulation

I can almost feel Erin’s eyes boring into me. Don’t you dare.

F*ck you Erin you b*tch

“Are you surprised?”

I THOUGHT THAT SAID ARE YOU MARRIED!?!?!?!??? I need sleep

hooking up with Ruben,

My man. My boy. This is not hooking up, this is love.

gobsmacked.

“Er, so you know how Ruben is gay?”

RUBEN IS GAY?!?!!!??? I thought he was bi

I’m trying to help you bounce some ideas around!

Sure you are.

Us. A sudden thought hits me like a speeding train. Does Zach … want to be with me? I insisted we talk after the kiss. I asked him to be my boyfriend. I suggested we tell the band about us. It was all me.

You are so stupid😒

“Why pick neutral when you have the whole rainbow?”

Yass

and my chest fills with pride.

dgjdtusdhkvgjsrhcy hahahaha