The Death Club (Dead Men Walking, #1)

by Caroline Peckham

"So you just plastered a huge vagina on your wall without even knowing it was a vagina? I mean, do you think you subliminally had vaginas on the mind that day or are you generally in a vagina mood?"

Phahahah this book is so unserious

If I wasn’t able to do backflips when I was ninety, life wasn’t worth living.

I’m a pony with a rocket up my butt. I can outrun anything.

Wtf

Ignorance is Swiss after all. And the Swiss are notoriously happy.

I pulled my phone from my back pocket and put some music on to stop the muttering in my mind, Anaconda by Nicki Minaj pouring from Alexa

This man is deranged

I’m going killing, yippee!

You need help...

"You're under my watch now, Spider," I replied. "So you don't have to worry about falling. I got you."

I’d always wanted to kill a Lionel. There was something about that name which just screamed evil overlord to me, and I felt it was best to rid the population of them just in case they ever tried to rise up and rule the world like some kind of megalomaniac dragon king.

Aaaaaaaah yeeeees this is SO funny kfidjfs

No one touched my spider. No one.

Except Mateo....

writing books about psychos in a magical prison for Fae who are all ruled by the stars and the zodiac and the lead character would be this badass werewolf girl who wants to break out a hot, tattooed incubus with a pierced dick and-”

Love al the solaria references

I protected his balls with my life.

Even beautiful doesn't cut it for you. You're breath taking in the most extraordinary way."

I’d eat death for breakfast if I could. Nom, nom, nom. Wouldn’t beat Coco Pops though.