More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Rodney Noble
Read between
March 13 - May 25, 2022
If you tend to keep thinking about what your partner said or did, you might be suffering from relationship anxiety.
overthinking will hinder you from enjoying the present while worrying about what could happen in the future.
Rumination refers to repetitively thinking about the cause, situational factor, and the result of an emotional experience, which is mostly negative.[5] In simpler words, it means that you keep thinking about different aspects of a situation that you deem upsetting.
Think about how this thought is not the best way to help you overcome your problems. Realize you need to do something, in reality, to get your problems sorted instead of constantly thinking about it.
Some common stressors that may cause you to worry about the future in a relationship include: The fear that your partner may cheat. The fear that your partner may break up with you. The feeling that you may not be good enough for your partner. The feeling that your partner may not be the one for you. The fear that the family or friends of your partner may not approve of you. The fear that your partner may choose other people over you.
A part of managing your worrisome thoughts regarding the future of your relationship includes letting go of things that are out of your hands.
Your worry may urge you to control this situation, but the fact is this is something that you have no control on.
you cannot force them to base their decision on your ideas.
Remember, just because you worry about your relationship’s future, you cannot snatch away your partner’s individuality. It is only going to make things worse.
you can set a rule that you may have a heated discussion only when you are ready to normalize after 24 hours.
It is common to label people who overthink a lot like the ones who generate problems when there aren’t any. However, the reality is, for such people, problems do exist even when the rest of the world is unable to see it. Why? Because they suffer from anxiety side by side with their overthinking problem.
Codependency is a phenomenon in which you lose sight of your own life because you focus too much on someone else’s.
Therefore, people who are overly dependent on relationships are always struggling when it comes to communication. Some of them may even lash out in destructive ways when they feel like they are not getting enough communication from their partner.
Focus On How You Feel Instead Of Assessing The Relationship
Without patience, you are more likely to project this overthinking on your partner and fuel frequent arguments.
Whenever you find yourself looking for hidden meanings in usual conversations with your partner, stop right there! It’s not right, and doing this will only cultivate negativity in your heart regarding your partner.
Overthinking, in any relationship, fills your mind with all sorts of ideas. You know how a lot of them are silly and never going to prove true, yet your mind seems to keep fabricating them non-stop.
Respect and trust form the basis of every happy and healthy relationship.
Without trust, fear will rule.
When a person overthinks, they imagine all kinds of scenarios, no matter how unreal and unlikely to happen they are.
Insecurity and overthinking in relationships often have a problem at the back end, such as jealousy, fear, doubt, or money.
Having a troublesome relationship in the past can make you doubt and mistrust your current partner. However, you must realize that every relationship is unique.
Keep reminding yourself that your partner is a completely different person with their attributes and motivations.
Focusing on the positives can increase the sense of security, and live the love your partner and you share.
To control your overthinking and insecurities, you must learn to tame your anxiety.
Remember, it is not always about you.
Most of the thoughts you encounter consist of hypothetical situations, which may or may not be true.
you must be clear that overthinking is a potential destroyer of long-distance relationships.
Trusting your partner can significantly help apply this concept. If you have faith in your partner, you must feel secure enough to let them go out and do what they wish to do. All this while knowing that they still love you and will only come back to you.
One way to do so is to take a piece of paper and write down all your fears, concerns, and thoughts regarding your relationships. Keep reminding yourself that by writing them down, you are getting it out of your system. Later, when your mind gets a little clearer, revisit your thoughts and negate them one by one.
You must acknowledge that both you and your partner have your own lives at your places and may not always be available to give you the maximum time.
Don’t dwell on your fears and expectations; most of them relate to your past or the future and not the present.
In any instance, in time, it is very much possible for you to change the way you view a particular circumstance.
self-awareness gives way to progression and growth.
Overthinking fuels unproductive and belittling thoughts. In simpler words, overthinking entraps you in a vicious cycle of self-destruction.
When a person self-evaluates, it allows them to note their feelings and action and lets them ponder upon whether they should be feeling and acting the way they are.
it is you who is the driving and determining force to determine whether you go uphill or downhill.
With this newly formed optimism, you can refresh your relationship, and instead of viewing it negatively, you can focus on its positive aspects.
You can use the power of self-awareness to argue if the things that are bothering you are real or just a fabrication of your mind.
With confidence, feelings of insufficiency cease. The likelihood of you constantly belittling yourself for the silliest reasons ceases too. Thus, another root cause of overthinking gets off the list, which only leads to a much healthier and happier relationship.
Writing down what you want to do and monitoring how good you’re doing is a great way to boost self-awareness.
When you find yourself overthinking, ask yourself, “Why?” and when you have an answer to it, go with the same question again and again.
The series of negative thoughts keep you entrapped, and the only way you break out of the cycle is through optimistic thoughts and self-love.
While you waste time figuring if your partner treats you right or is honest, you overlook their strengths with their flaws.
self-reflection is a means of evaluating yourself and correcting yourself to be a better person to your partners.
For a relationship to thrive, you must look at yourself from your partner’s eyes and make it up to them when you rightly fail to please them.
When you make your partner’s efforts prominent to yourself, it will also add tremendous amounts of happiness in your relationship
In the long run, relationships require compromises and growth.
First, select an event that bothered you. Second, take out time to assess the events that happened and question: Why do you feel a particular way about this incident? What was your contribution to this event? How could you possibly better react to it if it reoccurs?
Make it a practice to count at least three things you are thankful for in your relationship.

