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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Rodney Noble
Picking up arguments with your partner more frequently; Pushing your partner away by insisting that nothing’s wrong when, in fact, you are in clear distress; Testing the boundaries of your relationship, for example, grabbing a bite with your ex without letting your partner know.
can make it hard for you to be your true self in
Suppose you get into a fight, and your partner eventually decides to walk away. While this act may annoy most people, overthinkers get a tough time in particular because walking away gives them uncertainty, which generates worry. To end this kind of worry, set some ground rules regarding arguments. For example, you can set a rule that you may have a heated discussion only when you are ready to normalize after 24 hours. Both individuals can decide the rules in advance
It Can Cause An Increase In Aggression
It Gives Rise To An Excessive Need For Communication
Some of them may even lash out in destructive ways when they feel like they are not getting enough communication from their partner.
If yes, you are an avoidant.
Focus On How You Feel Instead Of Assessing The Relationship
Affirm The Positives
If you are facing hardships in your relationship, one way to overcome them is to take a new start. Get rid of all the previous perceptions and emotions. Start dating each other as if you have just met.
Remember The Happy Times This tip is for both partners, irrespective of who the self-centered person is. Why should you only focus on the miserable stuff and memories when you share a lot of happiness too? You have been growing together ever since you came into a relationship and must have shared many happy moments. Remember them and rejoice in them.
There is always a delicate line between seeking attention and getting on the other person’s nerves. Your partner might be doing their best to tolerate you and your self-centered thinking, so you must not push it. Notice when you are overdoing it and step back on your own.
Long-distance relationships suck. There isn’t a single person who has ever said, “Yeah, my partner lives 6000 miles away from me in Finland. It’s going great.” On the contrary, every person you will meet in a long-distance relationship will have this agonizing feeling. It’s like someone is carving out their heart using a butter knife and replacing it with blinking chat windows and unsatisfactory video calls.
Not every couple can immediately move in together, so they somehow have to manage to live with thousands of miles separating us. In such circumstances, it is not surprising if one or both of the partners develop patterns of overthinking.
always go the extra mile to make sure your communication is well. Try scheduling your calls in advance so that both of you have something to look forward to.
Stop Before You React When you are living miles apart from the love of your life, it is understandable to become a little more sensitive because you are not an ordinary couple. So, in this state of heightened sensitivity, if you come across something your partner said or did that offends you, you may react spontaneously.
However, make sure you never spend three months in a row without seeing each other as it only weakens the relationship.
Create an environment that is so secure that it encourages you and your partner to express their thoughts.
Alex and i do a good job
Have A Goal In Mind “What do we wish to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long will we stay apart?” “What will happen in the future?” These are some questions that you must ask yourselves. Decide on a common goal and stick to it.
When a person has a high self-awareness, they tend to have high hopes as well. This adds to the possibility of them filling the voids between their practices and their standards.
What do I want out of this relationship? What am I contributing to this relationship? What is my contribution to taking this relationship downhill? What do I need to change?
Take a piece of paper and write down all the goals and plans you wish to achieve in your relationship. Don’t forget to include your partner in this tip and ask them to do the same. Now keep this piece of paper in front of your eyes all the time to remind yourself that you have all these things to achieve together.
When you find yourself overthinking, ask yourself, “Why?” and when you have an answer to it, go with the same question again and again. You will have three reasons for your overthinking. If these reasons seem valid enough to you, you will know you’re overthinking is not taking you on a toxic path.
Don’t continuously ask yourself if you’re doing well in your relationship or not. Instead, questioning people who were close observers of your relationship is more fruitful.
Speaking of longer relationships, people lose themselves within the bounds of comfort in them, and while doing so, stop questioning if their relationship holds the same importance within their life and still adds the same meaning as it did initially.
Have you been undervaluing your relationship? Have you made him feel immature? How do you deal with arguments in your relationship? Did you value yourself? What do you mean by a perfect relationship? Have you been treating others the way you are expecting them to treat you? What could you do better about yourself to gain the lacking affection from your partner?
For a relationship to thrive, you must look at yourself from your partner’s eyes and make it up to them when you rightly fail to please them.
that relationships ask for loyalty and accountability from both.
