The Overthinking In Relationships Fix: Toxic Thoughts That Can Destroy Your Relationship And How To Fix Them

by Rodney Noble

It is unarguable that overthinking is destructive for any relationship. This fact does not only apply to your romantic relationship with your spouse. Overthinking can equally damage your connection with your friends, colleagues, kids, parents, and everyone that has come in contact with you even once.

You love and trust them, and over time, you have even learned the conversation styles of each

Relationship anxiety refers to the feelings of insecurity, doubt, and worry that may pop up in the minds of two committed people.

Relationship anxiety may raise questions regarding the compatibility between you and your partner. These questions may arise; even your relationship is going great.

Sabotaging behaviors often have a deep link with relationship anxiety.[1] To connect the two factors, you first need to understand the signs of sabotage which include: Picking up arguments with your partner more frequently; Pushing your partner away by insisting that nothing’s wrong when, in fact, you are in clear distress; Testing the boundaries of your relationship, for example, grabbing a bite with your ex without letting your partner know. You might not be doing these things on purpose.

Relationship anxiety can have several reasons: some of them are serious, while others are not. Nevertheless, relationship anxiety is a constant struggle. It is something that you want to get rid of as soon as you get a diagnosis.

Frequent fighting in any relationship can be problematic. The main problem behind frequent fighting is not only the fact that it involves anger,

Negativity is a part of most struggling relationships. This negativity is what hinders you from acting friendly and supportive of each other. All your playful jokes become negative, and you often use your words in an argumentative tone and for criticism.

Another way how overthinking can negatively affect your relationship is by creating problems when they are non-existent. Consider this scenario:

Eventually, you feel that it is impossible to get rid of these feelings. Instead, these thoughts start dominating you. You are unable to break out of it, no matter how hard you try.

overthinking will hinder you from enjoying the present while worrying about what could happen in the future.

However, the effects do not stop

Overthinking and anxiety can greatly affect your digestive and excretory systems. You may suffer from nausea, diarrhea, stomach aches, and other digestive problems. Sometimes, loss of appetite may also occur.[3] Studies have suggested a connection between anxiety and irritable bowel syndrome. IBS is an autoimmune disease that includes bouts of diarrhea alternating with constipation and can be discomforting.

People who struggle with problems like overthinking and resultant anxiety commonly struggle with the issues of low self-esteem.

The self-esteem theory asserts that humans have evolved to experience social avoidance and inclusion emotionally.

Having low self-esteem can significantly affect personal relationships.[4] It can give rise to imbalances, insecurity, and arguments and may let you face the following problems:

When you start masking your needs, you will automatically

start getting the feeling that your partner does not care for you, which will further distance you from them.

Rumination refers to repetitively thinking about the cause, situational factor, and the result of an emotional experience, which is mostly negative.[5] In simpler words, it means that you keep thinking about different aspects of a situation that you deem upsetting.

Think about how this thought is not the best

way to help you overcome your problems. Realize you need to do something, in reality, to get your problems sorted instead of constantly thinking about

true relationship means letting someone in your life and granting them access to the parts of you that you hide from the world.

Remember, just because you worry about your relationship’s future, you cannot snatch away your partner’s

individuality. It is only going to make things worse.

Whenever you find yourself looking for hidden meanings in usual conversations with your partner, stop right there! It’s not right, and doing this will only cultivate negativity in your heart regarding your partner. Soon, you will be obsessing over these thoughts and cause more anxiety. The cycle will keep on going until you destroy your entire relationship.

am worried that my insecurities are getting between my relationship. Sometimes, I think that I am extra baggage. I am unable to get anything right, I am not good enough, and I never will be. None of this is because my partner has said or done something. It is purely my issue.

The scariest thing is that these insecurities are growing with time, and I have no idea how to conquer them. I am worried that they will destroy my relationship too. I often bring up petty issues and minor problems with other girls. I know how these issues are ridiculous because my partner is faithful, and I trust him. But at the same time, I keep getting these thoughts, I feel jealous, and I feel like I need constant validation from him.”

You are in a relationship for the past few months. You suddenly begin to notice that your new boyfriend is spending a lot of time talking about himself and his life accomplishments.

Your pretty new girlfriend is suddenly so full of herself that whenever she enters a room, she waits for heads to turn. Whenever you try to share an exciting event or a recent success you achieved, she fails to acknowledge it. All of a sudden, the conversation takes a turn and focuses

their achievements and adventures.

“Did I upset them? Oh no, I think I must have. They did not reply to me for five minutes. I am a horrible partner and person. They will certainly leave me.” “Did I do this correctly? If it goes wrong, my partner will consider me a failure. Why haven’t I been more careful before?” “I am panicking. But why is this happening to me? Everything was fine. Maybe it’s just the way I am. I don’t deserve to be in any relationship.”

This automatically makes your partner feel like you do not care about them. Insecurities and mistrust will develop and wreak the relationship.

Sometimes, people become self-centered because of a certain experience of the past. So, before you completely dismiss them because of their selfishness, try getting to the reason behind this pattern of thinking. Getting to the root cause first and understanding it does not mean that you must let your partner go off the hook.

Misunderstandings and miscommunications are common in relationships. They occur when you are sharing a house with your partner. They occur with a much higher frequency when

During the initial days of the relationship, Jane’s three consecutive emails to her partner Mike ended up in his junk folder. Lucky for her, Mike was not the type of guy who would get easily offended and stop writing to her just because she had done the same. Days passed, and they never got to know what happened. But if it was someone more sensitive, that could mean the end of a relationship. Another time, both partners were talking over text messages when Jane expressed something she was worried about. To this, Mike responded as “that’s a fair concern.”

While this response was highly unsettling for Jane, she kept discussing the matter with Mike. Only minutes later, she realized that what Mike was trying to say was, “I understand what you are worried about, but that will not happen.” So, you see, Mike was trying to be supportive, but because conversations over texts are not predictable,

Another way distance can affect both partners in long-term relationships is a lack of physical intimacy. These partners may face trouble managing this intimacy, as meeting each other more frequently is not possible, given the distance. A lack of physical intimacy occurs, which puts both of them in a dilemma if they must satisfy their sexual needs in other ways. Even if the partners decide to turn to other ways, most of them feel disappointed for resorting to them even though

feel jealous when your long-term relationship partner goes out to play some soccer with his guy friends. You get jealous because his friends get to spend

For most people, the hectic work schedule and budget concerns may not allow this. For them, a monthly or two-monthly meeting can suffice. However, make sure you never spend three months in a row without seeing each other as it only weakens the relationship.

Another important aspect to consider realistically when it comes to long-distance relationships is the end goal. Do you want to stay at a distance forever? Of course not. You will have to discuss with each other the future of your relationship at some point. You may also achieve your goal of living together in the same area. However, if you fail to come to terms with a common

Some of you try hard not to express what’s on your mind in fear that it may raise a conflict. The situation remains the same, even if it is something that you need to bring upfront and be straightforward with it. Practicing this approach can weaken your long-distance relationship.

Look on the bright side: being in a long-distance relationship gives you time to do things that you truly enjoy without compromising on your partner. Think of all the fun activities you used to do when you were single? Maybe it is a good time to get back to painting, or re-joining the yoga class. You may even attempt to learn a brand new