The Promise

by Damon Galgut

Antagonism on both sides, the sense of some old wound, the details forgotten but the injury not.

Only one thing on my mind since hearing about Ma, funny that, just how it works, Eros fighting Thanatos, except you don’t think about sex, you suffer it.

You come back after long vanishment and the surface closes as if you were never gone. Family quicksand.

she likes the feeling of being between two places, recently departed and not yet arrived.

We rise out of nature into culture, but you have to fight to keep your lofty perch, otherwise nature pulls you back down.

But it’s still a comfort, a deep, quiet comfort, to lie behind your companion in the warm dark, one arm around her and a human heart beating in your hand. Doesn’t matter too much any longer that it’s Susan in particular you’re holding. Just a body and a presence. Not alone.

Nor will the moment return, which is true of all moments, though not equally.

No. No, she says. But refusal only works on other people, on fate it has no effect. You may have noticed it yourself, protesting at destiny is a waste of breath, what happens will happen regardless of your No.