The Not-Outcast

by Tijan

There were so many different uses for toilet paper. The obvious wiping your ass use. Toga use. Bridal party use. General party decoration use. Apocalypse panic-buying use. Then, you know, the whole rolling it and stuffing it somewhere and everyone’s imaginations can fill in the blank for those places. Bulging penises. Bras. Maybe just the use of wiping sweat from under the boobs.

and we both knew the real tragedy of the night. There’d be no poop surprises for anyone.