Naughty & Nice (Love Notes, #2)

by D.J. Jamison

I inhaled the scent of pine with every breath as I lay beneath the boughs, presents pushed to either side of me. This was my own little holiday tradition. It had started when I was a kid. I’d come out to shake my presents, as any reasonable ten-year-old would do, and when my dad caught me, he didn’t scold me for snooping. Instead, he pushed aside the presents and invited me to tree-gaze with him. I thought he was ridiculous. But as we lay there, under the tree, he’d talked to me, really talked to me, about the importance of family, how much we all meant to him, about life’s wonders, and how they weren’t money or fame or even cool Christmas presents, but the generosity and love behind those gifts.

A kick to my foot interrupted my thoughts. “Hey.” Jonas. What did he want now? My step-bro constantly gave me grief. He wanted the best bedroom, used my stuff without asking, and filled every room he was in with a larger than life presence that couldn’t be ignored. He was hot. And my brother now. And wasn’t that a disturbing truth? My father was gone, so how the fuck was it fair that I was saddled with a brother now? We weren’t family. We were roommates.

“Tell me about him.” Where to start? “He was great, read me bedtime stories, taught me to ride a bike, all the usual Dad stuff. He was always there,” I said. “Until he wasn’t. It’s not his fault, but sometimes the world just doesn’t even feel real without him, you know?” I looked back at Jonas. “Sometimes I think I’m the one who stopped living.” “Jesus, Quinn.” I bit my bottom lip. “Sorry.” He shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. Just live.” “How do I do that?” “One moment at a time.”

“Good,” he murmured, raising a hand to my cheek. “Because my world wouldn’t be the same without you in it.”

“Just cheer the fuck up, Quinn. Kiss a cute boy, go to prom, graduate high school, and make a life for yourself. Be a great dad to a kid, like yours was to you. That’s the best way to honor him.”

“Wait.” I grasped his wrist. “Kiss a cute boy?” His eyes met mine. “That’s what I plan to do.” My breath caught. “It is?” Jonas hesitated, then muttered under his breath. I didn’t catch much more than the word “fuck” before his lips were against mine.

Gazing up into the tree branches, I replayed the kiss over and over. My perfect first kiss, by a guy I’d thought I hated.

But I’d keep this kiss close to my heart, and remember the few seconds I’d had him in my grasp, my beautiful, sweet, annoying-as-fuck stepbrother who’d reminded me that life was full of moments worth living.

Jonas would be at the cabin. In a few days. For Christmas. Memories of my first kiss, my best kiss, infiltrated my mind, and for a moment I didn’t see the sign to the rental agencies, the impatient travelers stepping around me, or the arrival and departure displays. I saw Jonas Brooks, under the gentle glow of Christmas tree lights, as he leaned in to kiss me. An ache flared in my chest as I remembered, too, the reason for that kiss. Not desire, not love. Pity.

Memories of my last Christmas at the cabin were tickling the edges of my mind. I hadn’t been up there since that fateful night I’d kissed Quinn.

“Wait, isn’t the cabin where you met that guy before college?” Ace asked. “The one you’re all hung up on?”

The stupid crush I’d had on Quinn lingered, and I’d done the only thing I knew how to do to fight it—sample other fish in the sea. Lots and lots of other fish. Hence, my reputation as a player.

Four bedrooms, two bathrooms. My dad got the master, of course. Jess and her husband, Ryan, took one; the Terrible Two, aka my two-year-old twin nieces, doubled up in one; and I took the loft room upstairs. Where did that leave Quinn? But my sinking heart already knew. My room was the only one with a spare, unused bed. If Quinn was still here when the rest of the family finally made it in, he was going to be my roommate. Just what I needed: the guy I’d always wanted only a few feet from my bed and still untouchable.

Quinn shifted, averting his eyes. “People change. I can be nice.” He wrapped his arms around himself, and I realized he was quietly shivering. “We should get you warmed up. Can’t let frostbite take you out after I braved a blizzard for you,” I teased. Quinn’s lips quirked as if he were trying to resist a smile. “That would definitely hurt your cred as a white knight.” “Exactly.” He snorted a cute little laugh before turning on his heel. “Just don’t get used to it.” “What?” I asked as I followed him to the door. “Being an extremely handsome hero? Afraid that ship has sailed.” I sighed dramatically. “It’s my lot in life.”

“Seriously, warm up in the shower. I can handle this.” He turned, eyebrows up. “But what about you?” I was chilled but nothing I couldn’t handle. With great restraint, I resisted the urge to invite myself into the shower once more. I was supposed to be keeping my distance from Quinn. This guy owned my heart—or at least a sappy piece of it—and he didn’t even know it.

Quinn hesitated a beat before nodding. I handed a towel to him and he slipped into the bathroom, shooting a glance at me over his shoulder. “Thanks again. For not letting me freeze to death.” “Hey, what are ex-stepbrothers for?” “Daring snow rescues, clearly.” “Clearly.”

“Well, you’re always welcome at the Brooks Cabin,” he said. “I hope you enjoy your stay in our fine mountain getaway with beautiful views from all sides, a massive fireplace to keep you cozy even in the harshest of snowstorms, and a steaming hot tub to soak away your aches—or simply enjoy with our sexy cabin boy.” He waggled his brows. “That would be me.” I laughed. “First-class accommodations.” “Nothing but the best for Quinn Taylor.” Ha. If he only knew. Quinn Taylor had not enjoyed the best of anything in years.

shook my head, my eyes still fixed well below his face. Okay, this was ridiculous. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” I blurted. “Aren’t you cold?” Jonas glanced down with a frown. “Sorry. I was about to work out, and I generally get overheated. Does it bother you?” How to answer that question. Yes, it bothered me, but probably not in the way he thought. I was concerned I might begin to drool, or possibly drop to my hands and knees and crawl across the room to lick his stomach.

But seeing the words I’d written tonight gave me peace. These words felt right, like a future I could live with. I folded the slip of paper and tucked it in with the rest of my love letters to nowhere.

“I need to start standing on my own two feet. It’s time to grow up. You know?” I thought Quinn might be one of the most grown-up twenty-year-olds I’d ever met, but I didn’t bother trying to convince him.

I didn’t really understand why I was upset. When I first started seeing Clay, I loved that he took care of me. Maybe seeing Jonas try to do the same scared me. Maybe the problem wasn’t so much that I didn’t want him to rescue me; it was that I did. And what did that say about me? “Sorry,” I muttered.

“Well, she got a movie,” he said. As my brows shot up, he added, “Just wasn’t Hollywood, if you know what I mean.” I stared blankly at him as he gave me a pointed look. “You mean…” “Yep. You’re

“Fuck, baby.” “No.” I finally pulled back to look into his eyes. “I’m not baby, or honey, or any other thing you call your hookups. I’m Quinn.”

“I need you to agree you won’t hook up with anyone else while you’re here. Just me. Is that…” I took a steadying breath. “Am I enough?” “Hell yes,” he said. “Jesus, Quinn, I want you so fucking bad. I don’t need anyone else.”

“I don’t do anything halfway.” I hooked a finger through his beltloops and tugged him to me for a kiss. “Looking forward to a demonstration when we get home.” “Not until the tree is decorated.” My eyebrow ticked up. “Really, I rank below a Christmas tree?” Quinn laughed. “It’s not just any tree. It’s a truly impressive specimen. Big, strong form with full—” “Are you planning to fuck this tree?” Another trill of laughter.

“Tempting, but we have a Christmas tree to set up.” I groaned in defeat. “Now? I can barely move.” “Hey, you’re not the one who took a baseball bat up the ass.” I laughed roughly. “I am not that big, and now who’s talking dirty?”

Quinn had always been snarky, but it was nice to see it come out in a playful way, rather than a defensive one. I was seeing all sorts of new sides to him, I thought as I followed him to the shower. From shy to wild, withdrawn to spunky, Quinn was a guy with many layers. And I felt as if I were slowly beginning to see past the surface. I couldn’t wait to see what I could discover at his core. I only hoped I’d have time to know him, all of him, before we had to part again. I could already tell that he wasn’t going to be like any other hookup. Even if I hadn’t already felt things for Quinn that I shouldn’t, he and I connected on a level I’d never experienced. I was in very real danger of losing my heart. If I’d ever had it to begin with.

Quinn lurched forward, slamming his lips to mine with a needy sound. That sound went straight to my dick, hardening it. But it also made my stomach flutter and my heart lurch. That sound made me feel like the smartest, biggest, most impressive specimen of man on earth. I wanted to drag that sound from Quinn, proof that he wanted me, proof that I gave him pleasure, again and again.

I used to pride myself on being some pretty boy’s naughty sexcapade, but Quinn wasn’t just any pretty boy. I’d been carrying a torch for him for years. Dozens of letters to him were bundled in my duffel bag, just in the next room, full of words of longing and frustration. Why couldn’t I forget him and move on? I thought I was hung up on his rejection or was just a pushover for guys in need. I thought we’d never meet again. Now, as he moaned under me, rubbing his body against mine, I realized something I’d never fully admitted to myself before. I was in love with Quinn. For two years, our families had lived together. For two years, I’d dedicated myself to drawing him out of his sad shell. I provoked him, teased him, tried to make him laugh. Somewhere along the way, Quinn became my whole world. And when I kissed him under that Christmas tree, it all came crashing down. The secret hopes and affections I’d been harboring led to rejection, awkward tension, more pain. For both of us.

“So, how long have you been awake and fretting about my family?” I wrinkled my nose. “How do you know me so well already?” “Lots of study.” “Oh, really?” “Yep. I’m a dedicated student of Quinnology.” “Well, what does your knowledge of Quinnology tell you I might be thinking about your family?”

There would be no room for this thing that was growing between Jonas and me. Our sex marathons and quiet intimacy would come to an end. And I was far sadder about this ending than I’d been when I realized my relationship with Clay was a house of cards destined to collapse. Because I hadn’t loved Clay. A lot of the time, I hadn’t even liked him. But Jonas Brooks? Turned out I liked him a lot. I thought, looking back now, that maybe I always had.

“Hattie likes to go to you, but Betsy is my girl. Right, Betsy?” I chucked her under the chin with my free hand and she giggled. “You’ve got good taste, huh? You know which Brooks is best.” She suddenly threw her arms wide and dove toward Quinn. “Whoa!” Quinn caught her as she swooped toward him. Yeah, Betsy had good taste. I’d swoon for Quinn too if Jess weren’t watching so intently.

If someone had asked me before this week what Quinn might be like in bed, I would have suspected he’d be reserved but lovely. Nothing could be further from the truth. He’d shown a little shyness—and shock at my brazen attitude—our first time together. But it was as if my behavior had given him permission to let loose.

“I love what you did with this ham.” Jess stared me down. I stared right back, silently imploring her to keep her trap shut. “The ham was Ryan’s handiwork. He handles all the meat.” “Really, Jess? The poor guy. You should give him some relief.” She blinked, lost, as Ryan shifted and cleared his throat. “Very funny, Jonas.”

Jess nudged me under the table, and a moment later my phone buzzed. When I glanced at the screen, it was a text from my sister. Is this serious? I’ve never seen you like this with a guy. I tapped out a reply. Wrong number, who dis?

When Jonas and I finally went up to the loft for the night, after an evening spent juggling twins and playing Trivial Pursuit—which Jonas owned like the hottest trivia geek I’d ever laid eyes on—I was burning for him. Watching him display his brains and humor, entertaining everyone in the room, was an epic turn-on.

Quinn came off as such a nice boy, but right now he was all kinds of evil. Like a little sex demon I’d conjured up, challenging me with my own suggestion we’d have to be quiet.

I snickered. “Don’t bite me anywhere, I meant. If you want me to stay quiet…” Quinn kissed the tip of my dick. “You got it, sweetheart.” Sweetheart? It was the first time he’d used a term of endearment for me.

He moved his head, letting his lips rest against my ear. “You feel so amazing. You’re squeezing the fuck out of my cock right now.” I made a strangled sound and Jonas put his fingers over my lips. “Shh.” I nipped a fingertip, and he jerked his hand down. “No dirty talk if you want me quiet,” I chastised. He grinned. “Can’t handle the truth about your tight ass?” I decided to turn the tables on him. “Your cock goes so deep when you pin me like this. Makes me want to moan like a slut and let everyone know you’re mine.” “Shit,” he muttered, fucking me a little harder as he lost a bit of control. Now he knew what it felt like. “I want you to moan for me too. I want them to know.”

You missed your dad.” “I still do.” “I know, Buttercup.” Jonas kissed my shoulder. “You always will.” The fact he knew me so well made my eyes burn. This was more than a fling, wasn’t it? More than casual sex. I think I’d always known, deep down, that Jonas was something special.

“I know you love him,” she said. “I can see he’s in love with you. Do yourselves a favor and be honest with Dad. Hiding feelings like that? It doesn’t end well.”

I didn’t know how I’d bear it when he left, but I vowed to myself, then and there, that this week, this year would not be the last time Jonas Brooks looked at me with his heart in his eyes.

Neither of us had commented on Dad’s words that we were in love, but I knew that for me, it was true. I loved Quinn. I loved him enough to hold him tight while I could. And I also loved him enough to let him go when the time came. Even if it hurt like hell.

I sniffled and wiped at my face, glancing around in search of the wet wipes. Jonas usually tucked them into his duffel. Dropping to my knees, I dug through the bag. My hand closed around something rectangular, but when I pulled it out, it wasn’t wet wipes. It was a bundle of letters. And they were all addressed to me.

My days with Quinn had always been numbered, but I’d never wanted it to end like this. Swallowing down more pleas for forgiveness, I grabbed my duffel bag from the floor and spun on my heel. On my way through the living room, I tossed the bundle of letters into the fire. It was time for these feelings to die, one way or another.

I thought was in love with you. But I was wrong…I love you, Quinn. This version of you. The real version.

I guess that’s how it started. Me, rattling your cage to wake you up. You reacting to me with irritation, anger, and on a special day, a smile. I fell in love with that smile. Jonas’s words sank in. I thought I was in love with you. But I was wrong. I didn’t love this Quinn. Except he did, didn’t he? I thought maybe I understood what he’d been trying to say. His feelings for me before were one-sided, they were based on memories and longing for something that could have been. Not real love. Not like the love he felt now. I love you, Quinn. This version of you. The real version.

I had no idea if Jonas and I had a future, but I’d be damned if I let him ring in the New Year thinking I hated him. If I had any say in the matter, at midnight I’d be kissing the only guy who’d ever really loved me.

I suspected I was going to be alone for a long-ass time. If I couldn’t get over Quinn when all we’d shared was a brief kiss as teenagers, how was I going to forget the Quinn who spent all day in bed with me? It wasn’t even the sex that had ruined me, it was the closeness just after, when we’d been tangled and sweaty, Quinn glowing like an angel because he was impossibly beautiful even while debauched.

“I know we need to talk, but will you dance with me?” I asked. Jonas linked our fingers, then raised my hand to kiss my knuckles. “I’ve been waiting for the chance since the day I met you.” It was sappy, maybe, but it felt true. Jonas had been waiting for me, and maybe I hadn’t known it, but I’d been yearning for something too.