She gave me a Mountain Dew. “Mountain Dew is for white folks,” she said, “but I drink it when nobody here.” In that moment, she created within me the odd sensation of laughing through a deep ache. Like remembering something funny someone you loved once said while you’re sitting at their funeral. The feeling that confuses your body in an exhilarating way and you can’t differentiate between the tears born of mirth and the ones born of sorrow. Joy and pain get all mixed together in a yarn ball of emotions.
