Take What You Can Carry

by Gian Sardar

It’s clear to her that her previous worry was born from youth, from an innocence she knew she had even then but tried to keep hidden.

Her best friend says her eyes are less green. Some days Olivia sees it, that they’re not as vivid, that before they were filled with something that on good days she calls hope and on other days calls ignorance.

So much to fight for but they fight each other.

“It’s only too late when you believe you can’t do it,” he finally said. “So do it. Do whatever you want. Just do it big and bold and brave.”

“Loss keeps going, you know? It doesn’t just stop with what was taken from you. It grabs new things all the time. You think you’re up against missing the memories, all that happened, but Christ if you don’t miss all that didn’t happen even more.”

nothing is forever and things and people and places are taken just like that,

You love them for who they are, sure. That’s the easy part. But you also love them despite who they are. That’s the important part.”

Yes, her mother died when she was young and yes, it was loss, horrifying loss that emptied her of everything for years, but her father’s love tipped the scale back to where it should be, and her childhood was, all in all, happy.

Me. But it was my Dad that passed, and my Mom who gave me everything she could.

“Live big and bold and brave. That’s what my dad says.

Always get the shot, he’d once told her. Art makes a difference. And if someone’s story, their pain or sadness, if that can impact someone else, it’s worth the invasion.

The reality of this world is that tragedy occurs undocumented and daily, and what happened this evening was a mere flash within a greater explosion and is one most people will never know took place.

You earn your place beside someone by not walking away. Even when all you want to do is run.”

You love someone because of who they are but also—and maybe more important—despite who they are.

“All I have to say is sometimes you gotta boil it down and just do the bare minimum: live. That’s it. All that’s required.”