My God, the heat… The fucking winged cockroaches—one of them slapping against the bathroom mirror in my motel room woke me up… and have you ever seen this thing they call a crawfish? There was a whole giant festival dedicated to ’em near where I was staying, and I swear looking at the color of those boiled fuckers you couldn’t tell the difference between one of ’em and one of the locals—that’s how red the necks were down there. I was hoping for a taste of the Caribbean and instead it’s like I’m in coastal fucking Crackerville.
