For some people, monogamy can serve as a stand-in for actual secure attachment. Since the rules and structure of monogamy are so well-known and so strongly reinforced, many times all you have to do is fall back on the structure of monogamy itself to create a sense of safety in a relationship. The very fact of being monogamously exclusive, verbally committed or legally married can be sufficient enough for some people to feel secure in the relationship. When these people then remove the structure of monogamy by going nonmonogamous, their own insecure attachment style can get exposed. In such
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