More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“Love gives someone the power to break you…and if you give the wrong man that power…he’ll shatter your heart and ruin you.”
I love Stone…I really do. I just wish I knew why the second he placed a ring on my finger and I said yes… it felt like a noose was tightening around my neck.
“Because I don’t want you to keep punishing yourself,” he screams. “Hayley died that day…but so did you.”
“I don’t know why I’m so sad,” I choke out as another tear makes its way down my cheek. “All I know is something feels wrong.”
She might love him now… But she loved me first. Even when I hated her.
“I know it hurts, baby girl,” he whispers against my hair. “I’m so fucking sorry he’s gone.”
She’s rich, she’s beautiful, she’s smart—dangerously smart—she could have anything—anyone—she wants in this world. Yet there are times she looks so lost…so full of pain…it takes my breath away. However, I know better than to get too close.
A soul as black as the night sky. Lips as red as the blood she’s out for.
Because she hurt me in ways she doesn’t remember… and I hurt her in ways I can’t forget.
Because even the strongest girls surrender for the right boy.
“You’re the only one who sees me—the only one in the world who actually gets me—and that’s what you think of me?” I pound on my chest. “I might be flawed and fucked-up, but I’m still a person, Oakley. A person with feelings. Feelings that are hurt because the guy she cares about—the guy she would do anything for— thinks she’s garbage and hates—”
“You were right before. I do see you.” Before I can stop him, he eases off me. “And you deserve more than this.”
“You don’t have to live up to what anyone else wants you to be, Bianca. Your life is your path.”
“Then why the fuck do you want me in your life?” The truth pours out of me. “Because I feel something when I’m with you. Something I can’t explain.”
“There’s plenty of shit people should apologize for in this world…but feelings should never be one of them.”
“Why do you keep insisting we’re wrong when everything in me keeps screaming that it feels right?”
“I’ll bend you over this bench, tear your little panties off with my teeth…” The tip of his nose skims the column of my throat. “And fuck you so hard everyone on campus will hear you scream my name.”
Because she looks at me like she needs me. Like I can fix her. As if I’m the remedy for whatever turmoil is happening inside that beautiful head of hers.
“That’s not such a bad thing,” I say with a wink. “Sometimes being persistent pays off and you end up getting exactly what you want.” I can feel those intense blue eyes boring into me. “Is that so?” I’m not sure if it was intended or not, but there’s a flirtatious tilt to his voice. I’m suddenly grateful for my tan complexion because I’m positive I’m blushing a thousand different shades of red right now. “Well, being persistent is how I got you.”
“You’re still here, though. Which means you’re stronger than what tried to break you.”
“Point is, I’ve been where Liam was, desperately searching for something to make it hurt a little less—and even though I know I can always turn to my dad, along with Jace, Cole, and Dylan…I don’t. Because someone else’s love will never be enough to get rid of your pain when you can’t manage to love yourself.” The tip of his thumb brushes the edge of my lip. “Liam didn’t die because of anything you did, baby girl. He’s gone because he couldn’t see past all the torment he held inside.”
“Addicts are people who are trying to numb the pain, too. Only difference is, they aren’t dead…yet.”
“Goddammit,” he snaps. “Don’t be that girl. You’re smarter than that. The Bianca I know would never take that shit from him or anyone else.”
“I’m trying to put myself back together, okay? But it’s hard when I don’t have all the pieces, and the few pieces I do have…aren’t so great.”
“They don’t control us,” Dylan says. “We’re big girls,” Sawyer adds. “We don’t need their permission to see you.”
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to know you almost killed the person you love most in this world?” I growl before I can stop myself. “Only, instead of killing her, you destroyed her life and everything she ever knew, and then left her to pick up the broken pieces without you, and there’s not a goddamn thing you can ever do or say that will fix it.”
“You have to stop looking at me like that,” Sawyer whispers against my chest. “Like what?” “Like you broke me.” Her eyes are glassy when she looks up at me. “I chose to take the Adderall, remember?”
“That’s the world, baby girl.” The look he gives me steals my breath. “And you’re in it for a reason.”
I’ve been so scared of dying…I haven’t been living. Because I’ve been too busy missing them. It’s like my life stopped the day my mother’s did. And then when Liam died, it broke whatever was left of me.
A soul as black as the night sky. Lips as red as the blood she’s out for. The girl who leaves them running scared. She's a beautiful nightmare.
I want to remember this moment forever. Because if life has taught me anything…it’s that beautiful things never last. No matter how much you might want them to.
She doesn’t know which end is up and her family has her stuck in a box because they think it’s the best way to protect her.” I cut my gaze to his. “But you can’t stick a girl like Bianca in a box for too long because sooner or later she’ll crawl her way out and make the world her bitch again.”
Because that’s what my girl does. She fights just as hard as she loves. And that side of her is still in there…she just has to tap into it.
“Do you have any idea what you fucking do to me?” His hot mouth skates down my jaw. “How much you fuck me up?”
“I wanted to escape.” “From what?” The look he shoots me sucks all the oxygen out of the room. “You.”
“Oakley?” “Yeah?” “You make me feel things, too.” Things my mother warned me not to feel.
“You tell me,” he snaps. “You’re the one who’s been off gallivanting with him all summer.” “Gallivanting?” I repeat with a sardonic laugh. “What are you, eighty?”
“Easy for you to say,” he hisses as he adjusts his tie. “You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth.” I have to stifle the urge to tell him that he grew up with a stick lodged in his asshole, but you don’t see me constantly ridiculing him about it.
I’m afraid I’ll crack wide open and he’ll see everything I’ve been keeping inside. Like the fact that I’ve spent so much time hating and resenting my former self instead of trying to figure out why I became that way in the first place.
“This is for saying it would be weird and attention-seeking to have both my brothers and my dad walk me down the aisle.” Oakley picks up the next egg. “This is for driving a Ford when everyone knows they suck.” When I give him a look, he shrugs. “What? It’s all I got.”
“Nice shot.” He flexes. “Thanks, I’ve been practicing.” He points to her car. “She has giant dice hanging from her mirror.” “Basic bitch move,” I note. We throw our eggs at the same time.
My head tells me to walk away from the bullshit… But my heart tells me to fight for her. Because she’s worth it. Because I love her. Because she went down fighting for us.
“I might be a murdering junkie, but you’re nothing but a scared little boy whose balls still haven’t dropped.” I can tell I’m scaring the shit out of him because his eyes widen with fear. “And you have every right to be scared…because she doesn’t look at you the way she looks at me.”
“Aw,” I tease. “You need me to hold your hand?” His eyes are so haunted it hurts my heart. “Always.”
“We’ll never be butterflies,” I choke out as he rocks me. “Caterpillars are cool, too,” he whispers against my hair. “You get to hang upside down and you have over a thousand muscles but no bones. That’s some badass shit.”
“I don’t know how you do it.” His expression turns serious. “Do what?” I loop my arms around his neck and hug him tight. “Manage to make me feel better when no one else in the world can.”
Because that’s what repulsive assholes like him do. First, they charm you, then they manipulate you, until eventually…they break you.
Ummmm does she realize she’s describing someone else as well in this moment?
This book is packed with foreshadowing
“Because I know you, Bianca Covington.” He clasps my jaw in his hand. “We speak a secret language that no one else can understand, and we feel things for each other that don’t make sense to the rest of the world…just us.”
I hate that he has the ability to tear me wide open and break me… Because I love him in a way I’ve never loved anyone else. A way I never can love anyone else. And I didn’t even need all my memories to come back in order to realize it. I just needed him.
