Everything Sad Is Untrue (a true story)

by Daniel Nayeri

AT FOURTEEN, AZIZ WAS a beauty. But this would be difficult for anyone to know because girls at that time stayed home. So a boy didn’t know who to call on (which meant going to their house and asking the parents if he could court their daughter (which meant sitting in a parlor with her and talking to see if he wanted to get married)). So moms came up with strategies. At the public baths, they would look for the beautiful girls and tell their sons to go calling at their houses. Or people would look at the brothers. If the brothers had soft flowy hair and nice cheeks and pretty eyes, people would assume his sister would too, so she’d get a bunch of callers. But if the brother was a hairy boar, like if he spit a lot and had a giant nose, people would imagine it on a girl’s face and that sister would have lots of time to read.