The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

by Kelly McGonigal

Surprisingly, smokers who had learned to surf the urge no longer showed the typical correlation between feeling bad and giving in.

You learn how to accept and handle all your difficult inner experiences, and no longer need to turn to unhealthy rewards for comfort.

SURF THE URGE

When you first practice this strategy, you may surf the urge and still give in.

Don’t use your first few attempts as a final verdict on the value of this approach.

these three skills—self-awareness, self-care, and remembering what matters most—are the foundation for self-control.

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If there is a secret for greater self-control, the science points to one thing: the power of paying attention. It’s training the mind to recognize when you’re making a choice, rather than running on autopilot.

Self-awareness is the one “self ” you can always count on to help you do what is difficult, and what matters most.