Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed

by Jonathan "JP" Pokluda

there are no married people problems—just single people problems carried into marriage.

People waste gifts because they either don’t realize their value or don’t know how to use them. If God gives you a gift, you know it is going to be valuable. The question is, How are you going to use it? If you are single, there’s a good chance you have a gift that you’re wasting.

If your relationship is based solely on feelings, it’s guaranteed not to last. You may yo-yo back and forth for a while—you love them, you hate them, you love them again—but eventually the feelings will fade.

If your relationship is based on what they can do for you (or what you can do to them), that’s selfish. It’s self-love. You don’t even love them; you just love yourself. Real love is selfless. It’s about serving, not being served; giving, not getting. And when both people love and give and serve each other selflessly, well, you end up getting quite a lot.

Your “heart” just means your feelings, and your feelings have no wisdom or insight of their own. Your feelings don’t know what is best for you, and they don’t care. And since your feelings are always changing, following your heart means you’re going to be constantly changing direction.

How do you guard your heart? By being careful what you feed it. Your heart tends to want what you see, what you hear, and what you think about all day long.

And when you pin yet another dress to that wedding day Pinterest board, you focus your heart on the fairy tale of a one-day party rather than preparing for the reality of the thousands of days that will come after that (or, possibly, before).

Dang

Don’t follow your heart; inform your heart. Teach it where you want to go.

The most loving thing you can do for your future spouse is to get your own life in order long before you even meet them.

The goal of life is not to avoid troubles but to glorify God in the way we handle them (1 Cor. 10:31).