fast

by Millie Belizaire

You see, I think time makes you forget the things that never mattered. However, when things are serious—traumatic, maybe—time has a way of painting unforgettable images into your memory. Trauma is like cement; time only makes it more solid.

Sometimes you can fool yourself into thinking you’re “over” something. Then you catch yourself saying things, doing things, avoiding things, realizing you never truly got over anything. You just set new boundaries so that the same thing couldn’t happen to you twice.

Shaun was sincere when he promised, “It’s you and me. Till we’re old as fuck.”

So, despite everything… Despite knowing what she wanted, I couldn’t just let it go. There are just some things you don’t walk away from. Some things you just can’t forgive. Even if she wanted nothing more than to run—I had to do away with that motherfucker. If not for the little girl I couldn’t save, then for the young woman I loved.

Don't Do it Shaun!! What if you go to prison???

They mistook my shyness for arrogance, and I didn’t care enough to beg for entry into their little workplace clique.

When you love someone, you love them for who they are. When you have love for someone, you love what they can do for you.

What happened on Saturday made me face just how important it is to love the woman in your life. Especially if you want her to have your child. There was no reason to be bringing children into this world, knowing damn well I would never love their mother.

Caprice is different. She’s sensitive to that kind of thing. I couldn’t just force myself on someone like Caprice. Not unless I was trying to scare her or provoke bad feelings. I would never want to do either of those things to her. Whenever she was ready to have a conversation, we’d have one. I knew it was very possible that she’d never be ready, but only time would tell for sure.

This man is a MAN!!! I love how he considers Caprice and her feelings always! He remembers the little things when it comes to her and I love that for her!! I’m swooning.

There’s just something about almost dying, I guess. It changes you. When I was a kid, I had all these dreams. I thought I was gonna put my mom in a big ass house, buy her whatever she wanted, and really make her happy. Who would’ve thought the moment I was able to give her all those things, she’d be the saddest version of herself she’s ever been?”

The time apart put a lot of things into perspective. The time apart allowed us to grow.