Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict

by Joshua Coleman

A common thread in the perspective of estranged children is allegations of harm committed by the parent. This is challenging terrain for today’s parents of adult children because much of what younger generations consider hurtful or neglectful parental acts would barely be on the radar for parents of almost any generation before. However, it’s important to understand that however loving, dedicated, or invested you were, your adult children have their own scale to weigh your behavior as a parent, one calibrated in a way far different from the one you brought into the nursery. Their measurements are based on a much more curated concept of childhood, where identities and emotions are more investigated, more complex, and more parsed.