All of us are constantly guided by a confluence of forces that operate largely outside of our awareness. These include genetics, peer group, good luck, bad luck, the people whom we marry or divorce, the liabilities and challenges brought to us by our own parents, our siblings, our children, and our place in time. So in the same way that it’s wrong for adult children to believe that their parents were able to make better decisions—and simply chose not to—it’s wrong for parents to think that their adult children are able to do it any better. We can be mad at them for not being kinder, more
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