Everything, Everything

by Nicola Yoon

“You only wear black! It makes you look sepulchral.” “I need a dictionary to talk to you.” “Of or relating to a sepulcher.” “Not that helpful a definition.” “Basically you’re the angel of death.” He grins at me. “The scythe gave me away, didn’t it? I thought I hid it so well.”

REAL

“You only wear black! It makes you look sepulchral.” “I need a dictionary to talk to you.” “Of or relating to a sepulcher.” “Not that helpful a definition.” “Basically you’re the angel of death.” He grins at me. “The scythe gave me away, didn’t it? I thought I hid it so well.”

Oml I love them smmmm

It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster.

No really.

AHHHHHHHHHH

“Why do I feel like I’ve always known you?” he asks.

MAN I DUNNO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

He says that his dad wasn’t always this way.

THANK GOODNESS

“Newton was wrong,” his dad says now. “The universe is not deterministic.”

...

...

“Carla, please. Please don’t take him away from me.” “He’s not yours!”

YEA 'CAUSE HE'S MINE

“I can bench-press my weight in books.”

Me in a nutshell:

“More shift, less tilt,” he says.

Is there even a difference?!!?!?!!?

Olly’s suddenly right next to me, his hands on the bare skin of my ankles, holding me steady.

YESSSSSSSSS

I mean to say yes, but I shake my head instead.

Girlie really needs to get that checked out...

My heart beats so loudly that I’m certain he can hear it.

This sentence alone is my greatest ick when it comes to books.

Madeline: Friends don’t kiss, Olly. Olly: really good ones can

...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Forty-eight hours post-touch and I’m still feeling fine.

Because you're not sick....

I don’t know how the distance between us closes. Did he move? Did I?

Pretty sure you do AND i bet it was a joint effort.

And just like that, everything changes.

...

Quicker than I’ve ever seen him move, he lets go of Olly’s mom, grabs the collar of Olly’s shirt, and punches him in the stomach.

HOLY-

I don’t know where I’m going, but I have to get to him. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I have to protect him.

...

“Are you all right?” I cry out again, unmoving. He straightens up slowly, gingerly, like something hurts,

Girlie he just got punched in the stomach

The full weight of our feeling for each other hangs between us.

...

She holds up a hand and shakes her head. “How could you?” she asks, finally meeting my eyes. I’m not sure if she’s asking about my going Outside or lying to her. I don’t have an answer for either question.

A single black rubber band sits on my nightstand. She knows.

NAURRRRRR

“That’s enough now,” my mom snaps from the doorway. Her patience has run out. “I know this is very sad for you both. Believe it or not, it’s sad for me as well. But it’s time for you to go. Now.”

I choose not

as•ymp•tote (ˈasəm(p)ˌtōt) n. pl. -s. 1. A wish that continually approaches but never achieves fulfillment. [2015, Whittier]

Girlie is so real for that

No, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. It’s not you. It’s this life.

Wow. That was deep.

“I’m sorry that you’re sick.” “It’s not your fault.”

But it is...

“Love can’t kill me,” I say, parroting Carla’s words. “That’s not true,” she says. “Whoever told you that?”

GIRL- THE AUDACITY-

...

He tells me that high school is no utopia, but I’m not convinced.

She should be.

What else would you call a place that exists solely to teach you about the world? What do you call a place with friends and teachers and libraries and book club and math club and debate club and any other kind of club and after-school activities and endless possibilities?

We call it school which translates to ABSOLUTE TORTURE

Is she touching my Olly?

He's not yours.

OLLY’S ALREADY WAITING for me when I go to the window. In big, bold letters he writes: LAB PARTNER I pantomime my complete and utter lack of jealousy.

HAHAHAA also... We ALL know she's lying

SOMETIMES I REREAD my favorite books from back to front. I start with the last chapter and read backward until I get to the beginning. When you read this way, characters go from hope to despair, from self-knowledge to doubt. In love stories, couples start out as lovers and end as strangers. Coming-of-age books become stories of losing your way. Your favorite characters come back to life.

Hmmmm...

“You stop sleeping when you get old. You’ll see.”

Ummmm...

I’m afraid he’ll be able to feel the lies on my skin.

...

Lol

Human beings are mysterious and paradoxical.

REAL

“Don’t die,” he says. “I won’t,” I say back.

She won't....

prom•ise (ˈpräməs) n. pl. -es. 1. The lie you want to keep. [2015, Whittier]

...

o•cean (ˈōSHən) n. pl. -s. 1. The endless part of yourself you never knew but always suspected was there. [2015, Whittier]

WOW

Olly gives his to me so that I now have three layered around my neck.

That's really sweet.

“Welcome to Maui, Mr. and Mrs. Whittier,” says the woman at the desk.

HAHAHAHA

“Enjoy your honeymoon!” She winks and sends us on our way.

HAHAHA

I give you the Murphy bed.”

I actually want one of these so baddd ugh

My heart squeezes so painfully in my chest that it takes my breath away.

Ooo its happeninggggf

My heart squeezes again, but I ignore it.

She's so dumb ughhhh

Ooooo

Zach takes my hand and gives it a quick kiss. “Fantastic to meet you, Maddy. I’ve heard a lot about you, but I didn’t think you were really real.”

HAHAHA I LOVE THIS DUDEEE