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Death has a beauty to it. We don’t see it because we don’t want to. And that makes sense. Why would we want to focus on something that takes us away from everything we know? How do we even begin to understand that there’s more than what we see?”
We aren’t supposed to force someone before they’re ready. That’s not our job. We’re here to make sure they see that life isn’t always about living. There are many parts to it, and it continues on, even after death. It’s beautiful, even when it hurts.
“What will it take?” Wallace asked. “For you to cross.” He remembered what Nelson had told him when they’d stood below the door. “To rise.” “Ah,” Nelson said. “That’s the question, isn’t it? What will it take?” He leaned forward, tapping his cane gently against Wallace’s leg. “To know he’s in good hands. That his life is filled with joy even in the face of death. It’s not about what he needs, necessarily, because that might imply he’s lacking something. It’s about what he wants. There’s a difference. I think we forget that, sometimes.”
“Most people don’t want to be dead,” Nelson muttered, running a finger along Apollo’s snout. “But they learn how to accept it. Sometimes it comes with time, like you. But there are some who refuse to even consider it. ‘These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die, like fire and powder.’”
Hugo stopped a couple of feet away from Alan, looking down at him with a sorrowful expression. He crouched down in front of Alan, who sagged to his knees, hands flat against the floor, rocking back and forth. “It’s real,” Hugo whispered. “I promise you. And you’re right: it’s not fair. It never really is. I don’t blame you for thinking that. But if you let me, I’ll do what I can to show you there is more to this world than you ever thought possible.”
He smiled to himself. “I can’t wait to see them again, to hold my son’s face in my hands and tell him how proud I am of him. We think we have time for such things, but there’s never enough for all we should have said.” His glance was sly. “You’d do well to remember that.”
“He’s angry. I get it. I really do. And as much as I want to, I can’t take that away from him. It’s his. The best I can do is to make sure he knows he doesn’t have to hold onto it forever.”
“How is that fair?” The boy looked confused. “Death? How is it not? You’re born, yes. You live and breathe and dance and ache, but you die. Everyone dies. Everything dies. Death is cleansing. The pain of a mortal life is gone.”
“It’s never enough, is it? Time. We always think we have so much of it, but when it really counts, we don’t have enough at all.”
Just motes of dust along a stretch of mountain road, ashes spread as if he’d mattered. And maybe he had. Not to the world at large, not to very many people in the grand scheme of things, but here, in this place? With Hugo and Mei and Apollo and Nelson? Yes, he thought maybe he mattered after all, a lesson in the unexpected. Wasn’t that the point? Wasn’t that the great answer to the mystery of life? To make the most of what you have while you have it, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. In death, Wallace had never felt more alive.
What will you do with the time you have left? He knew. Here, at the end, he knew. “I love you. All of you. You’ve made my death worth it. Thank you for helping me live.”
But then it was a tremendous death, wasn’t it? Because of what he’d found after life.
“Yes, yes. You’re alive again. How wonderful for you.” He looked grim. “This isn’t something to be taken lightly, Wallace. In all of history, there has only been one person who was brought back to life in such a way.” Wallace gaped at him. “Holy shit. I’m like Jesus?” The Manager scowled. “What? Of course not. His name was Pablo. He lived in Spain in the fifteenth century.
He opened his eyes. “I’m a little frightened, Hugo. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am all the same. Isn’t that funny?” Hugo shook his head slowly. He squared his shoulders and became the ferryman he was. “There’s nothing for you to fear. You’ll no longer know pain. You’ll no longer know suffering. There will be peace for you. All you have to do is rise through the door.” “Will you help me?” Nelson asked. And Hugo said, “Yes. I’ll help you. Always.”
Apollo stood. He looked between Hugo and Nelson as if unsure. For a moment, Wallace thought he’d ignore Hugo’s order and stay right where he was. He didn’t. He barked at Hugo, a low woof before he turned toward Nelson. Apollo circled Nelson, sniffing at his legs before pressing his snout against Nelson’s hand. Nelson smiled down at him. “You ready, Apollo? I think we’re going on an adventure. I wonder what we’ll see?” Apollo licked his fingers.
And remember: Death may be a business, but we are a family. And families never, ever question those in charge. We believe in you!
