Confessions of a Bookseller
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Read between March 20 - April 15, 2023
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It is an irony of my position that—although I’m surrounded by books every day—most of what I know about them is imparted by customers, the self-same customers whom my first instinct is to discourage from talking.
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people who deal with rare books regularly visibly handle them differently, making sure to support the boards when opening them so that the hinges don’t split, making sure that when the book is removed from the shelf there isn’t too much pressure on the headband. Once you’ve been around rare books for a while, you become acutely aware of people mishandling them.
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This is why, every morning, getting out of bed is not in anticipation of a repetitive drudge but in expectation that I may have the chance to hold in my hands a copy of something that first brought to humanity an idea that changed the course of history, whether it be a 1791 copy of The Rights of Man, the 1887 English translation of Das Kapital or an early edition of Darwin’s 1859 On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection. This is what it’s all about.
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Jeff is the Church of Scotland minister for the nearby parish of Kirkinner, and his public persona is probably best summed up by my friend Finn, who once told me that ‘Jeff is more comfortable doing funerals than weddings.’ This, though, belies his true character, which is mischievous, witty and remarkably intelligent, with a formal theological education.
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the reason they’d come to Wigtown was because she’d read my partner Anna’s book, which is—in part—about Wigtown (and me).
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I found an old blackboard in the cellar and made a frame for it out of an old picture frame. It looks rather nice. I’ve decided to try to write something amusing on it every day, an endeavour that is doomed to failure as weeks—sometimes months—may pass before a witty thought enters my head.
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a book called Famous Last Words:
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I spent the first hour of the working day being slowly asphyxiated by a customer’s perfume, which I can only assume was manufactured as a particularly unpleasant neurotoxin by a North Korean biochemist in a secret bunker. Kim Jong extremely ill.
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Any Human Heart,
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Avoid social interaction: always carry a book.
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Mein Kampf,
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Shackleton’s Voyages,
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He has a slightly arrogant disposition mixed with a false chumminess, which, when combined, gives the impression that he thinks I want to be his friend and am very lucky that he’s considering it.
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Scottish Castles.
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Scottish Gallovidian Encyclopedia
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Cutty-Glies—a little squat-made female, extremely fond of the male creation, and good at winking or glying; hence the name cutty-glies. Poor girl, she frequently suffers much by her natural disposition: to be short and plain, it seems this is the class of females destined by some infernal law to become prostitutes.
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Captain (the cat) is already nudging the borderline of morbid obesity and is the size of a small child. He now has the bonus of the full thickness of his winter coat upon him, and frequently startles customers who, on feeling what they imagine is a svelte kitten rubbing against their legs in the shop, look down to find something more akin to a fat puma instead.
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Underground Adventures.
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Patagonia,
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The Fifteenth (Scottish) Division
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Blackburn Aircraft since 1909,
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The Sauciest Boy in the Service
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The Cock-House at Fellgarth.
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Found a book teaching Germans how to speak English, Der perfecte Englander, which included the following: ‘Well, Sir, if you have done supping, please to stay yet a little and favour us with some anecdotes.’
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‘You must observe a strict diet and perspire a good deal. Take, therefore, some cups of elder-tea.’ ‘My stock of stuffs for pantaloons is well assorted this season.’ ‘You are very punctual. I wish to be measured for an overcoat.’ ‘Tell her to wash my shirt and stockings better than the last time.’
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Miss Lonelyhearts.
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Catriona,
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Kidnapped,
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The History and Chronicles of Scotland—£225
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The History of Rutherglen and East Kilbride,
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Statistical Account of Scotland.’
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The Alma-Tadema sketch that I found in the copy of Catriona last week sold for £145, about five times what I was expecting. Such is the peculiar way of the second-hand book trade that a scrap of paper found in a 120-year-old book can prove to be worth more than the book itself.
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The Open Book was Anna’s idea. Realising she couldn’t be the only person who daydreamed about running their own bookshop, she persuaded my parents to buy a shop in the middle of Wigtown, which is run as an Airbnb which anyone can rent in order to experience running a bookshop for a week. It is booked solid for the next three years and attracts visitors from all over the world.
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There is a type of person who is convinced that everyone is determined to rip them off, and who obviously thinks that, by giving things they’ve been offered money for free to someone else, they will somehow be punishing the person who offered them the money. This is not how the world works.
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Missionary Travels and Researches in South Africa
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This Thing of Darkness, by Harry Thompson.
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The New Confessions, by William Boyd,
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Orwell’s Down and Out in Paris and London,
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Three Men in a Boat.
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Down and Out in Paris and London.
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Bits from an Old Book Shop,
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it is when I’m buying books that I encounter the greediest people: the person selling his collection who will push to extract every last penny that they’re worth from the bookseller they’re selling them to, will inevitably be the same customer who will drive the price down to the very margin when he’s buying books.
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Moscow Has a Plan,
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The Trial of James Stewart—for
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Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There
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Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
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The Little Grey Men,
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The 39 Steps,
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The War Economy Standard came into force because of the need to prioritise resources for the war effort, so publishers were forced to cut their paper consumption by 60 per cent, and print size, blank pages, words per page etc. were dictated by the Ministry of Supply. Most books published between 1942 and 1949 will bear the compliance stamp on one of the preliminary pages.
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The Pool of the Black Witch.
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