Sweet Dandelion

by Micalea Smeltzer

“Because I’m not about to fuck you like some horny teenage boy that can’t control himself. You mean more to me than that.” His other hand finds my cheek. He brushes the back of his fingers over my sensitive flesh. “The best things in life are meant to be savored. Treasured.” He swallows, clearing his throat. His fingers wiggle slightly in mine from nerves. “The thoughts I have about you break so many fucking rules. If I’m going to hell for this, I want to do it thoroughly. I want to take my time. I want to explore every crevice of your body with my tongue and pluck your thoughts like a guitar string. I want to know the ins and outs of what you love and why you love it. I want to know the most sensitive parts of your body, what makes you moan my name and beg for more. I’m a selfish bastard, Dandelion Meadows, and I want every fucking part of you.” I don’t reply, not with words anyway. Instead, I kiss him. You already have me. When he kisses me back, his lips say I know.

“You know,” he begins, clearing his throat, “when I figured you’d show up yesterday, I told myself to tell you that you had to go back home, that you couldn’t be here with me. But then, I opened the door and saw you. All those words … they no longer existed. When it comes to you, I’m incapable of common sense. I don’t understand it, but I think … I think I’m tired of fighting. I think about you when I shouldn’t, I have dreams of you that are immoral, I worry about you, I wonder what you’re thinking, and more than anything I want to make everything better for you and I’m so fucking torn up inside because I’m terrified I never can.”

A good guy wouldn’t be locked in his apartment with his student. A good guy wouldn’t have kissed her. And a good guy definitely wouldn’t be in the fucking position we’re in right now.” His breath caresses my lips with every word. “A good guy, definitely wouldn’t be thinking the things I am right now.”

“don’t you see? I can’t be with you in the light, I have to hide like a coward in the darkness and I refuse to do that.”

“I assure you, I’m not that much of a talent in the kitchen. I excel far more at other things.”

“Please.” His uttered, “Fuck,” is a deep rumble.

“Show me,” I beg, kissing his chin. “Show me.” His jaw. “Show me.” His cheek. “Show me.” His eyes stare deep into mine. Looking. Searching. Finding.

“We can’t come back from this.” His hold loosens a bit. “We already can’t.”

“My sweet, Dandelion. May you always be as free as the birds, as wild as the flowers, and untamed as the sea.”

“You’re loving me in the light.”

“I mean … I want to do this right with you. I want to take my time. I don’t want to rush you into anything. Besides, I owe you a real date first.”