Don't Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life

by Anne Bogel

When we talk about overthinking, we’re talking about those times when we lavish mental energy on things that don’t deserve it.

Whether the concern elbowing into our thoughts is big or small, we recognize the common thread: these thoughts are repetitive, unhealthy, and unhelpful. Our brains are hard at work but accomplishing nothing. It is exhausting and makes us feel crappy. Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema was a psychology professor at Yale whose research focused on women’s mental health and well-being. Her studies over a twenty-year period showed that overthinking makes life harder, hurts our relationships, and may contribute to mental disorders like depression, severe anxiety, and alcohol abuse.

We have only so much to spend each day, and how we choose to spend it matters.

Letting the sun shine in.

Sometimes I struggle, and I know I will continue to do so.

Nothing had just happened to her, she had made a choice, and then she had made another and another after that. Taken together, the small choices anyone made added up to a life. J. Courtney Sullivan

Perfection isn’t possible, but change totally is.

Instead, begin to describe yourself—if only in your head—as someone who: Is capable of experiencing less decision angst and more joy and peace Can learn to make confident, competent decisions Doesn’t need to habitually second-guess herself Is learning how to filter out the unimportant, unhealthy, and unhelpful Is developing strategies for stopping overthinking in its tracks Is becoming equipped to gracefully pivot

when things don’t go as planned Can put overthinking aside to welcome good things into her life

your thoughts can be the enemy, or you can make them your ally.”

wrangling

Learning to think well is a process.

Little victories accumulate until soon we begin to see the end to a problem, and how to get there.”

When we’re overthinking, the easiest thing to do is keep overthinking. To stop the cycle, we need to interrupt these thought patterns, and we can do that by taking a small step in the right direction. Then it becomes easier to take another right step, and another.

Trust the process, and get ready for your next step.

The way we see ourselves has enormous implications for how we live our lives.

In order to change our overthinking ways, we have to notice the ways we’re overthinking. We need to watch what we’re doing, observing our own behavior with a measure of the same objectivity we have for Will’s childhood self.

When approaching a decision, we may get stuck for a variety of reasons. For example, we may enjoy exploring the options or feel uncertain about what to do, or we may be driven by a perfectionistic belief that the right answer is out there somewhere, waiting to be found.