Imagineer (Imagineer #1)

by Honor Raconteur

It was the perfect night for a murder. Or at least, it felt that way to me at this very moment. I knelt on the gravelly side of the road, lug wrench in hand, and one eye over my shoulder as I tried to change the flat tire.

Now was not the time for me to be stranded on a deserted road. My hind brain seemed convinced I was going to become a strange smell in a trunk at this rate.

Can I drive on a flat tire? Crap, where’s Google-sensei when you need him?” The

Google is our friend ... until Skynet subverts it ....

My stages of waking proceeded thusly: 1. Denial 2. Denial 3. Denial 4. Denial 5. Extreme hostility

I really had to bite the bullet and do some housework today. It really, really had to happen. For one thing, I was nearly out of clean glasses, but for another, this had gotten out of control. I blamed the new fantasy series I’d picked up last week.

This is SO my life. :D Adulting is hard & no fun.

After that two-second glimpse, the fog hid it again. “Well that’s not eerie at all,” I grumbled as I tossed my backpack into the passenger seat and slung myself inside. “Thank you, for cranking up the creepy, because that’s totally what I need on a morning like this. Especially after epic battles and disappearing spikes. Alright, Boogieman, just calm down for a while. You’ve done your job; you can punch out for the day.”

I respected people who had it all together. But the people who stumbled into school looking like they’d gotten attacked by an angry flock of birds? Those were my people.

with a bed-rumpled appearance that made me think he’d rolled out of bed ten minutes before he needed to leave, then got dressed one-handed. In the dark. While fighting off ninjas.

I heard the words she didn’t say: Why can’t you just be normal. They stabbed, deep within my ribcage, and I flinched around the pain. “Tabby—”

She is the worst friend. I'd want to exchange my extrovert for someone less controlling. We introverts need adopting but she is the Worst.

Did she think friendship was like a food buffet? That you could choose which parts of someone you liked and wanted to keep, and ignore the rest? I’d never done that with her. I couldn’t understand why she’d done it with me. “I refuse to live in this world and not believe in magic. That’s too depressing. If that’s what you’re waiting for, Tabitha, for me to give up, then you’re going to be waiting for a very long time.”

I’d never understood why old people said ‘be good’ while leaving. Couldn’t do that, Mr. White. Already planned a riot, a few stabbings, and a bank robbery. I mean, really. What did they expect us to get up to? While IN SCHOOL.

Smug didn’t cover it at the moment. I finally got to see that thing properly. “I’m on to you now, ducky,” I cackled. Ahem. Too evil witch. I’d better tone that down a bit.

What’s bad and dangerous in the area?” “Gremlins.” “Incubus,” the other added,

Well that escalated quickly...

Don’t casually walk into the realm of the fantastical and expect to just waltz out again unscathed. Their values weren’t the same as a human’s. I’d done them a favor, so I wasn’t an enemy, but that didn’t automatically make me a friend.

I went through the checklist as I got ready. Keys, check. Phone, check. Purse, check. Pants, check. Sanity? Sanity? Yoo-hoo? And we had a runner. Well, four out of five wasn’t bad.

Right. Which meant I wouldn’t be alone in that huge, empty house anymore? I’d actually have someone to help me if something went wrong, instead of me struggling through it on my own?

That poor child.

According to legend, that was just how kobolds operated. They either liked you and followed you around the rest of your life, or hated your guts and chopped you up into a stew.

I'll take option 1, plus they do housework!

which left me in the back seat with Mitsuki. I didn’t find that nerve-wracking at all. I also have beach-front property in Arizona, if you’re interested.

The kitsune blinked slowly. “Did you breathe at all?” I grinned at him sheepishly. “I tend to babble when I get really excited.” “It’s almost a shame she’s not a spellcaster,” Zoya noted to no one in particular. “With that mouth, she’d cast far quicker than anyone could counter.”

I can relate to this..

Yeah. Uh-huh. I’d just sit like it wasn’t a big deal to perch on a stool that didn’t exist two seconds ago. Let me get right on that.

“My grandmother has an irreverent sense of humor that likes to pop out and wave flags around sometimes,” I explained with a roll of the eyes.

he didn’t look at all threatening, but this was the husband of an Imagineer. I’d be stupid to assume he was harmless. He just wasn’t inclined to harm me. There was a difference.

Last time he ran short of bottles, he and Zoya bought a crate and got smashing drunk. I came in on them running laps around the house, her with their marriage certificate and a lighter in hand, him casting random spells trying to stop her. She kept yelling, ‘You can’t return me without the receipt!’”

“Actually, garlic is an anticoagulant. Eating garlic to ward off vampires is propaganda by my kind to make humans bleed more efficiently.

All of them have blood dripping down their chins while they’re feeding. I mean, that’s our food. I just want to yell at the screen: CLOSE YOUR MOUTH. You think that’s sexy? Slobbering all over the place like that? Use a napkin!

wasn’t alone and dependent on Tabby’s forbearance anymore to have companionship. And that was a very, very odd realization to have. I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it.

Poor kid, you disdociate from the normality warden.

I was starting to think dragons had it right. Hang out in a cave with all your favorite stuff, and if anybody tried to bug you, blow fire at them and go back to sleep.

Good plan

Ciarán agreed, still glaring after Tabitha. “It doesn’t appear that young woman realizes it yet. Reagan, I have an idea.” Reading the dislike on his face well enough, I drawled, “No murder.” “I no longer have an idea.”

I do like him

For some reason, I felt like I was on the cusp of something I wouldn’t like. That part in the movies, when the heroine/hero foolishly trusts someone and gets bitten for it—I felt like I balanced on the edge of that moment. Complete with someone yelling at the screen, Really? You didn’t see that coming?

But Tabitha’s certain I’m crazy, and clearly I can’t trust her to not blab to the adults behind my back.”

Devil's advocate ... isn't she the right age for schizophrenia to start?

his voice chiding the house in audible tones. “Did you forget who’s master here? If Reagan wants it a certain way, you obey, you don’t argue with her. Don’t make me regret giving you life.” Yeah, not getting in the middle of that argument either.

I still want one of each tho

Easy to do in theory, really hard to do in practice.” “I can imagine. The human mind only likes to focus for about four minutes, really. It’s why we have to train to meditate for any length of time.” I had not known that.

Huh. the more you learn

“Mactep lives here? Really?” Ciarán lifted an eyebrow at me. “Were you expecting a Baba Yaga house on chicken legs?” Lifting a shoulder in a shrug, I admitted, “You’re not far off. This is really cute, though.”

Heh ... that threw me out of John Wick... he's not even a girl... still scary tho

“Gas leak.” He said it so deadpan that I snickered. “Stop it. You sound like a CIA agent from some movie. Gas leak. Really?” “Nine times out of ten, when you see an explained explosion on the news? It’s someone who did something stupid with a pocket dimension.

I once again felt like I was missing a step. “Why Klaus? This isn’t really his department.” Ciarán gave me another funny look. “Because my head will roll if something happens to you and he doesn’t know about it.” Uh, why? Again, I didn’t get it. Ciarán

Again, poor kid. Her Dad in my mind moreso. I mean her Mom is out sabing lives. The Dad could teach locallyh or something for a few years. Archeology isn't going anywhere.

Karleen came to stand behind him, peering down at me as well. “I can lick that clean.” What was it with wolves and licking things? I mean, seriously.

It was polite to offer? Although i'd hate to risk a glass shard in MY tongue .

I felt a strange tug in my chest. I’d seen this expression before—never aimed at me, granted—but I’d seen it before. On fathers’ faces, when their child was hurt. But Klaus wasn’t my father.

But not hers .... oh that family ><

“Ciarán,” I said gently, although my heart panged with hurt at his words. Mostly because they were so true. “They’re not really parents. They’re more like…really sympathetic friends with credit cards? They have no idea how to parent.”

I promise if you ever call out to us, any of us in the clan, we will hear you. We will hear you.” Tears burned at the back of my eyes and I hugged him fiercely to me. That was all I’d ever wanted. To be heard. To know the person looking back at me listened. Was invested in what I had to say.

Seriously ... this part makes me tear up.

I loved it when she used American slang. Mostly because she used the wrong era of slang.

Righty o daddyo

“And what did you learn tonight?” “Beware of trees,” I answered fervently.

Let me just say this: Heart of Darkness? Creeeepy. I lived with mythological creatures who would dismember enemies and cheerfully chuck them into a stewpot, and still. Creepy.

he asked with a pointed look at the clock, “Why are you drinking caffeine at 10 p.m.?” “Time is an illusion. Once you realize that, you can transcend, and live in bliss.”

“Didn’t you create it?” “Cut me some slack, I did it in my sleep!” I must have, because there was absolutely NO reason why I wanted a giant blowup duck in my room. Or outside my room. Read that as anywhere, okay?

I lay there, still pinned, and I almost didn’t ask, but curiosity got the better of me. “I’m just checking. I mean, I could be wrong, but…did he just stab the duck with a sword?”

Of course he could laugh. He didn’t have to clean up the army of plastic ducks I’d somehow conjured in my sleep. I mean, really. Five hundred ducks? What on earth had I been dreaming about?!

Rubber ducky you're the one You makd bath time so much fun ...

I swear, he was just like what I imagined an older brother to be. Some days he was sweet. Some days I wanted to murder him. Some days it was a toss-up.

Nice they avoided the romantic trope

It was like a walking black hole of hunger and rage. “That sounds about as fun as a barrel full of monkeys with Ebola and I’m going to say a big No Thank You to that.”

“No, but there’s a difference. Sleeping is nice because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so it’s a win-win situation.” “It’s like being dead without the commitment,” I agreed, playing along.

Ciarán’s tail beat a happy rhythm against my shoulder. “Right. An open relationship with death.” “Death with benefits,” I countered, snickering.