Ayoade on Top

by Richard Ayoade

when Cheryl says, ‘I’m Cheryl. Fly me.’ Cheryl probably isn’t inviting the prospective traveller to join her in a compressed air cannon, to be violently expelled into a net in front of some semi-interested agricultural specialists. So what is Cheryl suggesting? Surely Cheryl isn’t being presented as an eroticised canvas onto which the male traveller is meant to project his own propulsive thrust? That would make the airline her pimp. Does National think that the consumer is going to be so gripped by the illusory prospect of stratospheric congress that he’s going to book a flight he wouldn’t have taken anyway? Is his wife going to wonder, ‘How come all these needless flights all of a sudden?’ Also, unless National are thinking that, post-ad, they’ll only be accepting one passenger at a time, is this an invitation to a ménage? Will robes and lotions be provided? Or will you have to bring your own lube?