True Colors

by Kristin Hannah

What is passion? It is surely the becoming of a person. . . . In passion, the body and the spirit seek expression . . . The more extreme and the more expressed that passion is, the more unbearable does life seem without it. It reminds us that if passion dies or is denied, we are partly dead and that soon, come what may, we will be wholly so.

But years later, when she looked back on that week of her mother’s death, Winona saw how that single action—the handing over of a lead rope—had changed everything. From then on, jealousy had become an undercurrent, swirling beneath their lives. But no one had seen it. Not then, at least.

“You think I’d go out with someone to get Dad’s approval?” “Sometimes I think you’d do almost anything for it.”

“Tell me you’re happy for me, Win,” he said. She looked right at him and lied.

She’d always imagined love to be turbulent and volatile, an emotion that would sweep her up and break her to pieces and reshape her into someone she couldn’t otherwise have become.

She wouldn’t turn around to check, but she was sure just the same: he was watching her.

“I bet he treats you like some kind of pretty little treasure. Like you’ll break if he’s too rough.”

Years of connection seemed fragile; for the first time she wondered if his love was as conditional as her sisters always said it was, and that frightened her.

“Be careful, Vivi Ann. I might touch you back.”

“Good idea, Vivi Ann. Run off to that pretty boyfriend of yours. He looks like one of those lapdog men who like the leash. See if he can scratch your itch.” “I do not have an itch.” But even as she said it, she knew suddenly it was a lie. And Dallas knew it, too.

You can’t let Luke mean more than we do.”

“I know about wanting, Winona, believe me, I do. You’re sick with it.”

“I’ll be here,” he said, but he didn’t look happy about it.

“What’s my favorite ice cream?” “Vanilla. Why?” “Marry me,” she said, surprising herself. “You’re crazy.” “We’ve been crazy from the start.”

“I love you, Vivi,” he said, and in his voice was a surprising intensity. It scared and thrilled her at the same time. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not even Winona.”

“You don’t know me.” “I know you,” he answered, smiling now. Winona thought then: He’s dangerous. And Vivi Ann had brought him into their family. It proved to Winona that she’d been right to try to protect Vivi Ann from this man. “You’d better not hurt her,” she said. “I’ll be watching you.” “She might forget what you did, Winona, but I haven’t. You betrayed her, pure and simple. So you remember this: I’ll be watching you. She might forgive. I won’t.”

this book is making me anxioussss😣😣😣

Winona sat in her car, parked outside the police station.

this womannnn is insane

She scooted closer and took him in her arms, holding him with the whole of her body, her heart and soul, trying somehow to impart her childhood to him.

“You don’t care how I feel about anything.”

She hadn’t known then it would be their last one for a long time, but he had. She remembered what he’d said so quietly that morning, dressed all in black, with his gray eyes so impossibly sad: I love you, Vivi. They can’t take that.

When it was over, and Dallas was convicted, Vivi Ann would finally face the ugly truth. Then she would need her family again. And Winona would be there, arms open, waiting to take care of her.

this bitch pisses me offfff

They deliberated for four hours and found Dallas guilty. He was sentenced to prison for life, without the possibility of parole.

omg !!!😳😖

“I understand why it’s hard for you to believe in things.” She stared at his face, trying to memorize every crease and line, so she could call on his image at night when she lay alone in their bed. “But I can believe. Let me. Lean on me. I’ll show you . . .” He closed the distance between them, kissed her with a strange gentleness. She knew what it was, what it meant. “Don’t kiss me goodbye,” she whispered. “It is goodbye, baby.” “No.” “You were more than I ever hoped for. I want you to know that.”

🥺

She didn’t blink or breathe or wipe her eyes, afraid that at the smallest movement, he’d disappear. “I love you, Dallas,” she said. “Love Dada,” Noah agreed, nodding and pointing. At that, Dallas broke. She saw it as clearly as if an arm had simply been snapped off or his spine had cracked. “Get me out of here, Roy,” he said. And then he was gone.

“I did sit in that courtroom and I saw the truth you’re trying to ignore. He—” “Don’t say it, Win.” “You know it, Vivi. You must. He’s guilty. You need to—”

literally the worst sister imaginable???

Sometimes she just sat there, swaying to the music in her head, hearing Noah crying or calling out for her, and trying to remember how it had felt to touch Dallas, to hold him. The memories were leaking away, and without them, she had nothing to ward off the numbness, and so she gave in, falling into a deep and troubled sleep on the sofa.

this is too saaaaad

“I’m so sorry . . .” He looked up at her, sniffling, his eyes dark with tears. “Are you okay, Mommy?” “I will be, Noah. I promise you.”

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. —ATTICUS FINCH, FROM HARPER LEE’S TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD

Dallas had almost ruined this family once, and she was terrified that his angry, violent son would finish the job.

honestly this bitch

You probably want to know why, don’t u, Mrs. Ivers? U think I’m being an idiot to want to see a murderer and you’re wondering if I’ll steal a car to do it. Ha ha. You’ll have to wait and see.

come on kid i’m rooting for you!!!😭

I know it was dumb, but I liked it when she said she was proud of me.

Noah reached over and held her hand. “You were alone, though. I have you.”

You’re really here, he said, and he was the one of us who cried first. He said something I didn’t understand but the sound of it was so familiar. And I knew: it was what he used to say to me when I was a baby, the thing my mother didn’t know. It was just ours, me and my dad’s. It means Ride Like the Wind in my mother’s language he said. God, he said next. I left a little boy in his mom’s arms and now here you are, a man. Then he pulled me into his arms and said I missed you little man.

Show us your true colors, who you used to be.”

Dad came up beside me and put his arm around me and said, I thought about you every night, Noah. Every night.

And my dad said, Yeah. It’s about time I taught my son to play poker. His son. That was when I had my answer, when I finally knew who I was.