Sincerely,

by F.S. Yousaf

I wanted this moment to be private. I didn’t want a flash of a camera, or snapshot of what our life would look like, both of us standing together, fighting every battle, celebrating every win.

I refuse to store All my joy in you. For if you ever leave, I would not know what to do.

Do not bury me Deep within your mind, For it is already filled With chaos and pain. Let me be One of the good thoughts On the surface.

I have jumped from house to house My whole life. Stability, for me, has been nearly nonexistent, But I have hope That you could be my home For as long as I live.

I stared into your eyes, Got lost in what you are, And found myself unable to focus elsewhere. You clearly knew my weakness.

I always counted down the days Until I saw you again. These moments with you Were the only times I felt like my true self.

One of my many goals in life Is to give you the type of love That I had always desired.

There is something so sweet About the way your voice sounds Early in the morning. It reminds me of a time When I believed that happiness Was unreachable. But I am here, Astonished by the way You make me feel.

Once we harmonized, Your goals and dreams Also became mine. And I so dearly Wanted to see you Achieve them all.

You knew it was a lie, Even when I pleaded “I’m fine, I promise.” You could tell By the way Anxiety danced in my eyes. And I am forever grateful That you know every inch of me.

How alive you were When all else was withering. How valiantly you stood When so much around you was falling apart. Your strength was inspirational— And your drive, immeasurable. So much I had not seen Until you came to me, And I can say with confidence That I would not have it any other way.

Search for me in my silence And search for me When my rambunctious nature Takes over the calm and peace. Search for me, For I do not search for myself. Aid in finding me For I may never find myself on my own. — I will find my own voice soon

I ask myself constantly: What if there is no cure for this ache, This pain that resides in me? And although you cannot fix the ache You are there to help me through the journey So I do not wander this dark path alone.

You bring me happiness, But you are not the cure For my sadness. That I must find On my own.

You saved me From the dangers of my mind— Your hand Was the only one That could reach me.

I acknowledge that I may be a negative person, But when someone hurls negativity at me, I do my utmost to be positive. I do it for reasons unknown to me. I acknowledge that negativity may barge through Barriers and anchor us down, And when that happens I intend to be positive For both our sakes. I may fail, but I will try and try again Until I get it just right. We’ve got whatever comes our way.

Three years ago I had difficulty thinking of the future. I could not think past The minutes and hours That lay ahead of me. I was living day by day, Anticipating some Sort of end. Your timely arrival Was a memorable one. And I thought to myself That this could possibly be The person who can surely Ignite a fire in me. You saved me From myself, And make every day Worth looking forward to.

I do not love you Just for the sake of loving, But because you have given me Tranquility on days Where I have given up on myself.

I have loved you for years, Which in turn have felt like An entire lifetime. Our vows renew When we are nearly broken, And we keep the love Ever flowing.

Please give her strength, For my efforts are minimal Compared to her adversity. Make her stronger for herself, And give me another reason To look up to her.

I have stood by you In glory And in pain. What makes you think That I am not here To stay?

Of all the places Where we have traveled, Your happiness Has been my favorite sight.

Your heart has so much room for love That I sit here, In complete wonder At how it could possibly be so. You have seen And felt terrible emotions— Some which made you feel Minuscule and beneath the ground. I am here for you Through the storms and the calm. I am here for you Through the anger And the peace. I am here for you Through the frustration, And tranquility. You do not deserve most Of the fires that come your way, Yet you handle them gracefully. As if you have lived with them Lifetimes over. It pains me how little I can do, But I hope the sincere amount I give Brings you a degree of happiness.

You may be afraid to love fully Because of how temporary this life is, So let’s make memories That will flourish within us No matter how long Or short we live.

I always told myself That I could not possibly Fall more in love with you. But here you are, Proving me wrong once again.

When you crumble, I hurt with you. But I do not stand idly by. I will extend my hands And catch every piece As you fall. I will be by your side as you Rebuild, and help you In the process. You are half of me, A purer, gentler half. I am not whole when you Are not whole yourself.

We sacrificed plenty To make sure Our future Did not suffer The same fate As our past.

The distance was unusual, And the separation—cruel. But real love never fades, And I will ultimately Be by your side.

I came closer As you distanced yourself. I will not let you Fight alone.

These trials. The difficulty you feel Does not go unnoticed. You are a warrior in my eyes, One who stands tall, Pushing back against adversity. Your shadow casting larger Than you believe it to be. To witness your strength is extraordinary, Inspiring, And everything Which gives me the desire To have that same power You carry.