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Aeris’s voice cut through the silence. “Seriously. Who wants to take my place?”
This got an actual laugh out of me
They were all—terrible.
Evolver is pretty good, actually
“I’ll believe you,” I said, finding that I did.
Finding that you did will believe her?
A mass of stone the size of a small boulder that came up to my waist crumbled.
There had to be a better comparison for this than "a rock the size of a boulder that came up to my waist."
We began to run. In other words, I began to run, and Aeris flew circles around me in her new form,
Instead of "in other words," try "more accurately".
Instead of pulling me with it, my tail snapped in two, sending a bolt of pain through my spine. The Fire Elemental was blown against the wall and started to fall. Through gritted teeth, I healed myself and dove toward the Wind Elemental.
Why would you not cast regrow tail, then heal yourself?
It was then that the very bowels of the Underworld were being unleashed all at once.
It was then... WERE? WHY in God's name would you phrase it like that? "It was then that the very bowels of the underworld unleashed themselves, and every bit of it was heading my way."
“Don’t be so modest, dude,” Skyler said. “You’re the first of us to go Super Saiyan. Own it!” I was left mouthing clarification.
He was left mouthing clarification? Ugh. I'd have just laughed.
even the shiest among us, Lydia,
Shiest, huh?
If you let Aeris hold the trigger then there’s no chance that we’ll miss.” Glancing at Aeris out of the corner of my eye, I saw her in her Wind Sprite Form and could have sworn she had gone paler than normal. Seeing movement across the table, I turned and saw Skyler’s face. He was trying to hold back his laughter and was about to blow. He’d already held his breath too long. Gasping for air, he cackled like a hyperventilating walrus.
Just... SO overwrought. Eye roll city. The joke barely makes sense, and it's not nearly that funny. And Aeris's reaction makes this confusing, because it sounds like she's scared by the thought, but everyone else laughs like crazy? I don't get it.
head. “That was a big oops.” He smirked when he was back on his feet. “Don’t play with frost, if you can’t handle the bite.” “Uh, yeah. Again?” “I’m frosty. Let’s do this!”
Ok, Ah-nold
He seemed, cheerful.
Why the comma? Ellipses, maybe, but definitely not a comma.
Her eyes were large and bright with mischief. They turned down like a dragon’s infant,
Sorry, but are we supposed to know how a dragon's infant's eyes turn down? Because I sure don't.
Tell us how you’re going to cool that resister.”
It's "resistor," with an 'o'.
“I will cover the transistor
Resistor
the entire resister.
Resistor
