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It doesn’t matter what my wedding dress looks like because by the time the actual ceremony rolls around, I’m going to look like the lead in a high school production of Carrie. We should start out by rolling me through an abattoir since there’s no way we’re getting around it.
“Oh, come on,” I protested. “I call for help when I need it! I’ve gotten so much better about that over the last few years. I hardly wind up ambushed and alone at all these days.”
Why wasn’t everyone an otter, all the time?
“As the one with a right to claim offense against the man, I think the punishment he deserves is my mother.”
