Twilight (Twilight, #1)

by Stephenie Meyer

“Bella, please! Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!” he begged. Yes, I wanted to say. Anything. But I couldn’t find my lips. “Carlisle!” the angel called, agony in his perfect voice. “Bella, Bella, no, oh please, no, no!” And the angel was sobbing tearless, broken sobs.

“Bella?” Carlisle called to me. I tried to answer. “Mmmmm?” “Is the fire gone?” “Yes,” I sighed. “Thank you, Edward.” “I love you,” he answered. “I know,” I breathed, so tired. I heard my favorite sound in the world: Edward’s quiet laugh, weak with relief. “Bella?” Carlisle asked again. I frowned; I wanted to sleep. “What?” “Where is your mother?” “In Florida,” I sighed. “He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos.”

“No, I want to sleep,” I complained. “You can sleep, sweetheart, I’ll carry you,” Edward soothed me. And I was in his arms, cradled against his chest—floating, all the pain gone. “Sleep now, Bella” were the last words I heard.

“It was impossible… to stop,” he whispered. “Impossible. But I did.” He looked up finally, with half a smile. “I must love you.” “Don’t I taste as good as I smell?” I smiled in response. That hurt my face. “Even better—better than I’d imagined.” “I’m sorry,” I apologized. He raised his eyes to the ceiling. “Of all the things to apologize for.” “What should I apologize for?” “For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever.” “I’m sorry,” I apologized again. “I know why you did it.” His voice was comforting. “It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me.” “You wouldn’t have let me go.” “No,” he agreed in a grim tone, “I wouldn’t.”

“I would stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it,” he explained. “Someplace where I couldn’t hurt you anymore.” It didn’t sink in at first. I continued to stare at him blankly as the words one by one clicked into place in my head like a ghastly puzzle. I was barely conscious of the sound of my heart accelerating, though, as my breathing became hyperventilation, I was aware of the sharp aching in my protesting ribs.

“Don’t leave me,” I begged in a broken voice. “I won’t,” he promised. “Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate you.” But my heart couldn’t slow. “Bella.” He stroked my face anxiously. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here as long as you need me.”

“Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me to go away?” “No, I don’t want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem with saving you, either—if it weren’t for the fact that I was the one putting you in danger… that I’m the reason that you’re here.” “Yes, you are the reason.” I frowned. “The reason I’m here—alive.”

“I may not die now… but I’m going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I’m going to get old.”

“That’s how it’s supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened if I didn’t exist—and I shouldn’t exist.”

“I’m hardly a lottery prize,” he growled. “That’s right. You’re much better.” He rolled his eyes and set his lips. “Bella, we’re not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that’s the end of it.” “If you think that’s the end, then you don’t know me very well,” I warned him. “You’re not the only vampire I know.” His eyes went black again. “Alice wouldn’t dare.”

“Alice already saw it, didn’t she?” I guessed. “That’s why the things she says upset you. She knows I’m going to be like you… someday.”

“Like I said, as long as it makes you happy… as long as it’s what’s best for you.” I tried to shake my head, but it was too heavy. “’S not the same thing,” I mumbled.

“But his son is irritating me.” I pulled back to look at him. His face was very serious. “Why?” “First of all, he made me break my promise.” I stared at him in confusion. He half-smiled. “I promised I wouldn’t let go of you tonight,” he explained. “Oh. Well, I forgive you.” “Thanks. But there’s something else.” Edward frowned. I waited patiently. “He called you pretty,” he finally continued, his frown deepening. “That’s practically an insult, the way you look right now. You’re much more than beautiful.” I laughed. “You might be a little biased.” “I don’t think that’s it. Besides, I have excellent eyesight.”

“I brought you to the prom,” he said slowly, finally answering my question, “because I don’t want you to miss anything. I don’t want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if I’d died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have.”

“So ready for this to be the end,” he murmured, almost to himself, “for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You’re ready to give up everything.” “It’s not the end, it’s the beginning,” I disagreed under my breath. “I’m not worth it,” he said sadly. “Do you remember when you told me that I didn’t see myself very clearly?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. “You obviously have the same blindness.”

“Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?” “Not exactly,” I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed. “Mostly I dream about being with you forever.”

“I will stay with you—isn’t that enough?” I smiled under his fingertips. “Enough for now.”

“Look,” I said. “I love you more than everything else in the world combined. Isn’t that enough?” “Yes, it is enough,” he answered, smiling. “Enough for forever.” And he leaned down to press his cold lips once more to my throat.