Notes on a Silencing

by Lacy Crawford

Thank you to Detective Julie Curtin and Lieutenant Sean Ford of the Concord, New Hampshire, Police Department, whose honesty and consistent focus on victim-centered discourse were transformative. Almost alone among administrators and authorities who were involved with my case, they saw through bureaucratic obstacles, diversion, and obfuscation and worked to restore truth and integrity. Where there cannot be justice, there is sometimes clarity, and this is its own mercy. This book would not have a voice were it not for the leadership of Tarana Burke and the advocacy she has inspired, or for the example of fortitude and fierce care offered by Chessy Prout and the Prout family. Every survivor and witness of abuse at St. Paul’s School who spoke up, anonymously or otherwise, helped generate enough interest and anger to rouse an institution slumbering in its pride and reach those of us who had resigned ourselves to silence. Thank you. After this book was completed, the trustees of St. Paul’s voted to remove Bill Matthews’s name from the hockey center. This decision was made without consideration of how Matthews treated me and my family, but stemmed from his handling of more recent events. Archibald Cox Jr., as board chair, and Kathy Giles, current rector, presided over a decision that was, and remains, highly contentious among alumni and trustees. The symbolic removal of Matthews’s legacy bespeaks good intentions, but I find cause for hope only in the fact that current leadershi...