Dirty Secret (Slayers Hockey, #1)

by Mira Lyn Kelly

About the way he plays with little kids and how his own generosity embarrasses him. I’m thinking about the rare smile I’m fairly certain I’ve seen more than everyone else in this city combined, and how it makes me melt every time I get a peek at it. I’m thinking about the way he looked at me before he kissed me today and even more… the way he looked at me after. I’m thinking about the feel of those powerful arms closing around me and how I can’t remember anything in my life feeling as right as being within them.

Vaughn’s eyes come up, unerringly finding mine with that shiver-and-burn intensity. My mouth goes dry and, for a beat, I can’t move. I can’t do anything but wish things were different. I take a steadying breath and give him an apologetic smile I know he understands from the way his brows dig together, and then I leave before either of us does something stupid.

Knock, knock, knock. Sucking in a startled breath, I push to my feet. My heart speeds as that restless feeling in my belly turns into a kind of instinctual pull that draws me to the door. I don’t have to check to know this isn’t my brother. It’s not George looking to chat, or Helene showing up with snacks and office gossip. Not tonight.

My fingers tingle as I reach for the knob, my heart races, and my mind empties of all the reasons this is a mistake. Of everything except the relief surging through my veins as I swing the door open. Vaughn is braced against the frame again. He’s lost the suit jacket, and his big arms are flexed and straining as he barely holds himself back. “I shouldn’t be here,” he says, the words gravel rough and rubbing against me in ways that only make me want to hear more. “I don’t even have a fucking excuse to check on you.” “But you came anyway,” I whisper, drinking him in. “I came anyway.”

The muscle in his jaw jumps as his silver eyes swirl with an intensity that matches the energy coming off him in waves. I shouldn’t be reaching for him, but I don’t think I could stop if I tried. I want this. I want him. My fingers curl...

There’s a beat of resistance when he pulls back and our eyes connect—and then he’s launching forward on a growl so savagely possessive, I feel it through the deepest part of me. That big arm I couldn’t stop staring at sweeps around me as his mouth crashes against mine in a feral kiss. This isn’t tender or tentative. It’s desperate and hungry and has ...

Hands roaming over my thighs and ass, he alternates between gentle and desperate, stroking one second and gripping the next. Making me groan around the thrust of his tongue. Making me rock into that thick, steely ridge lodged between us. “Allie, tell me this isn’t a mistake.” I need more of his mouth, more of his kiss. More of his huge chest pressing hot and hard ...

And then I have it, the crush of his kiss. So potent, I feel it hot and pulsing, straight through my center. Opening further, I moan around the taste of him filling my mouth and stroking firm against my tongue. One hand slides up my waist, my ribs, and then to the underside of my breast. He kneads it with a rough touch that sends spasms between my legs. “More,” I gasp, trembling as I squirm, trying to get to the buttons of his shirt, then trying to pull it free of his suit pants as we rock together, frantic for more of the sweet friction that’s making me insane. Oh God, the contact.

His huge hands grip my thighs and ass. The room spins around me and suddenly he’s walking us back through my too-small apartment to my bedroom, kissing me all the while, driving me crazy. “Christ, baby, if we only get one night, I want to spend it inside of you.” “Yes.” I need him. Now. “Clothes.”

I’ve been working on his shirt since he crossed the threshold to my place and I’ve barely gotten three buttons undone. But in less than a breath, Vaughn takes a handful of my shirt and, pulling it overhead, tosses it aside. He looks down at my sparse chest and the plain gray cotton bra even more bland than the one I was we...

And then he’s got it unclasped and following the way of my shirt. The cool air kisses my straining nipples before Vaughn covers one and then the other with the wet heat of his mouth. He could t...

I bounce back on the mattress, and a second later, he’s whipping my jeans and panties off my legs. He jerks his shirt off in one pull and loses the belt, pants, and boxer briefs just as fast. My belly does one of those needy little flips, and my mouth goes dry. Because, just wow. His body. It’s a mast...

Packed with heavily layered muscles that flex and shift, ball and stretch as he follows me onto the bed. His skin is a shade warmer than mine and inked up one arm and across his chest. A dusting of dark hair swirls around his nipples, bisecting the hard slabs of his abdominal muscles and trailing lower to where his cock juts thick and ...

It’s been almost a year since we did this last. Since he spent hours teasing me, making me come before finally, finally sinking inside me in one deep, smooth thrust. I can’t wait that long again. I can’t wait another second. Cupp...

Producing a square foil package I didn’t notice before, he rolls it down his thick cock and then leans back over me. “I don’t want to hurt you.” I whimper in protest. He can hurt me. He can do anything, so long as it eases this emptiness. But then he’s reaching between us to run his fingers through me. One slick stroke and his eyes close in what looks like something between pleasure and pain. “Your pussy’s so wet for me.”

He works a blunt finger inside me, pumping slowly in and out as I gasp and writhe. I’m dying for him. “So tight.” Adding another finger to the first, he stretches and twists. “I’m about to lose it just from touching you.” I’m panting, clenching around him, halfway there already. My hands are on his chest, my thumbs playing with his nipples and the deep grooves between his muscles. Lower. I graze his shaft. The noise he makes is guttural, unintelligible, and emanates from somewhere deep in his chest. Our fingers brush as he takes his cock in hand and guides the thick head through my folds until he’s notched at my opening.

Our eyes lock. This is it. What I’ve been telling myself I didn’t need, shouldn’t miss, and can somehow live without. What I’ve been lying about for months. “Vaughn, please.” His hips rock forward, and he’s pushing inside me, stretching me wide, wider. Sinking deeper. My b...

“Allie,” he rumbles through gritted teeth. “I’ve thought about this. So many times. About the feel of you around me.” There’s so much of him, I feel full already, but he keeps pushing, retreating and then giving me more. “The taste of you coming on my tongue.” “Vaughn!” “Fuck… you saying my name just like that. I’ve dreamed about it.” And then he’s as deep as he can go, holdin...

Stormy eyes search mine and he runs a gentle touch across my jaw. “You okay?” “Yes.” So much more than that. He starts to move, dragging his heavy shaft out in a slow stroke before sliding back in to nudge that spot so deep inside me, it steals ...

I’m chanting his name, rushing toward the place only he’s taken me before. My knees hitch higher and his hand slides over my leg in a caress as he holds himself above me with one arm. “Fuck, Allie, you feel so good. Too good.” He rocks into me again, hitting that spot a little harder, making me spasm around him. “I want to make it ...

“Yes… close… please,” I gasp, hands everywhere, tumbling toward release. “Come for me, baby,” he growls, gripping my ass in one huge hand and tipping my hips into his. And I’m there. Falling over the edge. Coming around Vaughn’s hard thrusts. Crying out his name as pleasure and relief fist within me, gripping and releasing in wave after wave, until I fall limp and Vaughn goes ...

Sliding my knees up his sides, I lock my ankles around his hips and hold him to me, just for a minute. I’m not ready for this to end and I don’t want to have to fa...

A minute passes and he’s back. Wearing only the marks of my hands on his skin, he sits beside me on the edge of the bed and traces his thumb along the line of my ribs, down and around my navel. “Regrets?” It’s easier to follow the light touch coasting across my skin than meet his eyes. “No,” I answer quietly. Honestly.

One more minute. Because this—Allie tucked into my side, her soft breath washing over my skin, her arm draped across my stomach—this is what I thought I’d be waking up to after that night in Vancouver. This is the glimpse of the future I thought I might actually be able to keep. But now, it’s just the final moment of a night that was supposed to be about getting the wrong girl out of my system. Natalie, not Allie. Natalie Baxter. Shit, even reminding myself who she is isn’t enough to make this suck any less. She might be the absolute worst woman I could pick, but it physically hurts to let her go. So yeah, her plan to work this thing between us out of our system? Total fail.

I can’t stop thinking about the look in Allie’s big blue eyes before I left this morning, or how she melted into me when she fell asleep the night before. How instead of wanting to chew my arm off to get away, all I wanted was to figure out how I could stay.

I’m not a prick. That’s the excuse I’m going with as I take the short walk up to Natalie’s door, my pulse jacked like the puck’s about to drop. We had sex. Hot. Wet. Blow-your-mind sex. And I’m not looking for a repeat. I’m not. I’d have to be a total fuckwad if I showed up here intent on backing her against another wall and catching her breathy moans with my mouth when it’s been less than twenty-four hours since we agreed we were only going to do it the one time.

The door swings open and… I’m so screwed. “Vaughn,” Allie whispers on a shaky breath, the deep blue of her eyes pulling me in. “What are you doing here?” Yeah, what am I doing here? Because it sure as hell isn’t making sure she’s okay after last night. Not the way I’m cataloging every fucking detail about her. The exaggerated rise and fall of her chest beneath a white tank top, the Wisconsin sleep pants hanging just below those sexy hip bones I want to scrape my teeth over. Her pretty little naked toes and soft bare lips.

I bury one hand in the soft curls behind her neck as we come together in a hard, clashing kiss that’s all deep, sliding tongues, grasping hands, and shuffling feet as we move inside. “I tried to stay away,” I say against her mouth, my breath ragged and strained. We can’t get close enough. “I tried to want you to.” Her fingers knot in my hair, tugging just right. “But it’s no use. I was calling you when you knocked.” I pull back to search her eyes. “Yeah?” “Sorry.” She really looks it too. “Not sorry,” I growl. And then we’re kissing again, harder, hotter.

I push her tank up and thumb the tight bead of her nipple with one hand while sliding the other over her perfect ass to pull her closer. Her hips tip into the contact and she whimpers. That sound. I want it again. Bending my knees, I get the contact I’m after, my cock rubbing against the thin cotton of her sleep pants. And yeah, it’s fucking fantastic.

Her hands grip my shoulders as she meets me stroke for stroke. Moaning and sighing, grabbing my ass, my arms and chest. Pushing to her toes and arching into me. Hooking her leg around my hip and making a whimpering noise that says she can’t quite get where she needs to be. In the next breath, I have her off the floor, pressed against the wall next to the door, her body aligned with mi...

I can’t think about anything except how fucking good she feels in my arms. How sweet those little sounds she’s making are. How bad I want inside. “Need to fuck you,” I grunt at the feel of her pussy spasming against me. “I’m on the pill,” she gasps, meeting my eyes and searching them with a vulnerability that wrecks me. “I’m clean.” Thank fuck I’ve been tested, because the idea of getting inside her like this has me ready to blow my load right now. “You sure⁠—?” But then she’s kissing me again, devouring my mouth and moaning when I take back control to devour hers.

I hook my thumbs in the waist of her pants and panties and shove them down her hips as she hikes one leg free while attacking my fly. And then I’ve got her by the backs of her thighs, tank top shoved above her gorgeous tits, sleep pants caught around her left knee. I line up, teasing my head through her slick folds as she trembles. “So wet for me.” “Vaughn, I need you.” She has no idea what that does to me. What she does to me. Our eyes meet, holding as I push into her in one deep thrust that has her breath rushing past her lips.

“Okay?” I ask, holding where I am because she’s still so tight, I want to give her a chance to adjust. She nods, lips parted, cheeks flushed. “Baby, you feel so fucking good.” I can feel everything. Each flutter and clingy grasp of her body around me. All that slick, snug heat. I can feel her heartbeat...

I start a slow rhythm, sinking as deep as her body will let me go, thrusting against that spot. Every time I bottom out, her pussy clenches around me. Every time I drag myself back, she clings to me with greedy pulls. And every time she looks into my eyes, I’m gone for her that much more. I don’t know how we’re going to stop this when having her heart beating against mine feels so right.

I can’t think about it. Not now. Not when I’m buried inside her and her breath is washing over my neck in soft puffs and her fingers are threaded through the mess of my hair. Pulling out almost to the tip, I shift my angle and slide back in. “Vaughn!” That’s the spot. My name fills the air with a mix of breathy pleas and silent gasps as I work us both toward the edge. She’s almost there. “Need you to come for me, baby.”

Using the wall for leverage, I hold her with one hand and slip the other between us to rub my thumb over her clit. And that’s it. Her soft cries fill the space around us as she clamps down on me so good and so hard. I’m barely a stroke behind and then I’m coming inside her, filling her with the part of me I’ve never shared with another woman. Pressing my forehead to hers, I breathe her in. “Allie,” I say, pulling back to meet her eyes. So so...

“I know it’s not what we talked about.” He tucks a bit of hair behind my ear. “I know it’s fucking complicated. But I’ve tried, and I can’t stay away from you.” My heart does one of those little flips, because it’s what I want to hear. Just not what I need to hear. This thing between us is a temptation I can’t afford. Neither of us can, but for completely different reasons.

Carefully, he sets me down, keeping one hand at my hip as I find my footing. He untangles my tank top and pulls it down to my waist before helping me with the sleep pants and panties pooled around one ankle. How is this man so tender and careful with me, and so shut off and forbidding with everyone else?

“That’s what I’m saying.” His hand covers mine and pulls it to rest against his chest. Such a nice spot. “What if we take this time we have. Tonight… and all the nights until the season ends?” My breath catches and I slowly shake my head. The risk to his career is too much. “What do you think is going to happen when the guys find out about us? Things are just starting to turn around for you with the rest of the team.”

“Honestly, I’m starting to think our chances of keeping this quiet might be better if we give in. I’m losing my shit every time I see you and think I can’t have you. Every time one of my teammates pulls you into a hug, pretending they don’t want anything more than to be friends—which is bullshit, by the way. And the way you’re looking at me. Baby, I fucking love it, but if anyone catches that look, we’re done.”

I am one compelling motherfucker when I put my mind to it. And yeah, I may have put my mouth and hell, the rest of my body, to it a few times too. But truth? Pretty sure Natalie was convinced before I made her come on my tongue the second time and definitely before I had her panting my name in the shower. And by the time I dragged myself out of her place this morning, it wasn’t with that brutal sense of finality from yesterday. It was with a sleepy smile and soft kiss. I’m still thinking about how nice it was on the plane before we take off for Pittsburgh when O’Brian drops into the seat beside me and ruins it.

Having come straight from practice, he’s freshly showered, wearing cuffed jeans that hug and hang over the hard-packed contours of his ass and thighs just right, and a navy button-down that’s fitted so perfectly it looks like they sewed him into it on the way over. And it takes everything I have not to feel him up over his clothes.

“Turns out Chicago’s not so bad.” Chicago is pretty spectacular. And in spite of his differences with Greg, he seems to have found a rhythm with the team and O’Brian in particular that has Slayers fans everywhere taking notice. But the way he meets my eyes tells me it isn’t just the city he’s talking about. God, I’m falling so hard. More every minute we spend together.

Vaughn means something too. More than I thought he would. But he’s a professional hockey player who’s signed on to a life of putting the NHL above all else. It will dictate where he lives, what his schedule looks like, activities he can or can’t partake in. It will be the thing he has to put first every single time and, to a degree, so will the person who chooses to be with him. I can’t sign on to a lifetime of being second best. It’s how I grew up. Second best to my brother. An afterthought to my parents. Barely a consideration in the choices that shaped the lives of our family. I need to come first. At least part of the time.

Her smile is wide. And it feels like the only thing that matters. It feels like fucking everything.

“Baby, you didn’t.” He takes a step forward, stops, and wipes his hand over his mouth as raw hunger burns in his eyes. “Christ, you did.” “You like?” I ask a little breathlessly, turning around and peering over my shoulder at him. That growl of appreciation I enjoyed so much when he walked through the door has nothing on the possessive sound he makes when he reads his name across the back of the Slayers jersey I’m wearing for him. “I wish I could have worn this to the game, but if it makes you feel any better… I did wear these.” With one arm braced on the back of the couch, I bend forward in a tease, inching the hem of my jersey high enough to show off the results from my deep dive into Etsy. His eyes zero in on the white cotton panties with his number across the ass.

“Vaughn, I need you,” I whimper when he licks a teasing trail up to the edge of my panties and presses a gentle bite over the skin there. My inner muscles clench and then clench again when his mouth moves between my legs where I’m soaked for him. “So sweet, Allie.” Hooking a finger inside, he pulls the panel out of the way and licks into me. “Can’t get enough of you.” He spears me with his tongue, slow and firm, his fingers digging into my hips. And when I clamp down around him, he moans against my most sensitive spot. It’s more than I can take. Not enough of what I need.

With a desperate cry, I turn and pull him to stand. And then he’s kissing the life out of me, feeding me the taste of myself as I thread my fingers into the thick silk of his hair. We’re out of control, hands everywhere, tongues clashing, bodies grinding in search of more contact. Hearts pounding hard together. “This,” I gasp against his mouth, emotion I can’t explain surging through me. “This is what I need.” Pulling back, he meets my eyes, looks down at my mouth and shakes his head. “You’re what I need.” I swallow past the knot in my throat. Because yes.

“How’d you leave it? I mean, I’m guessing Greg isn’t looking for you to put a ring on his sister’s finger. But any declarations made to smooth his feathers?” Declarations? He shakes his head in disbelief. “You tell him that you love her? That she’s coming to Oregon with you at the end of the season?” “She’s not coming to Oregon.” And as to the other? I haven’t said it to Natalie yet, so I’m sure as fuck not telling O’Brian or Baxter first. “Don’t get me wrong, if I thought it would make her happy, I’d be all about her moving with me. But this is her home.”

“Ow!” he grunts as I flip on the lights. Eyes closed, of course. Julia’s out of town, but Greg sleeps naked and one of us being scarred for life is enough.

Sexy…