Where Good Girls Go To Die (Good Girls, #1)

by Holly Renee

I learned the hard way that reality was a cold, hard bitch. She didn’t ease me into it slowly. There was no gentle push that had me blinking open my caramel-colored eyes until I saw the truth in front of me. I cliff dived.

I let a man destroy me, and as a result, I became a coward.

Seduction was in the air, and I was the temptress.

He looked dangerous. He reminded me of a bad habit. He was something I knew I shouldn’t want, but I felt myself gravitating toward him regardless.

“I’m not good enough for her either.”

“She deserves far more than anyone at this party can give her.”

“Don’t ever talk to Livy like that again.”

“Better yet, don’t ever talk to her at all. Don’t look at her. Don’t even breathe her name.”

“What did you want me to say?”

“Did you want me to tell him that I just needed a few more minutes alone with his baby sister?”

Every extreme in my life, every high and every low, had a story with her attached to it.

I didn’t give a fuck if they were my friends or not. She was mine. No. She had been mine once.

She had eyes that could see straight through me, no matter how hard I tried to hide from her, she saw. She always had.

“What’s gotten into you tonight? You look like you’ve either seen a ghost or like you really wish that ghost would come dance on your lap again.”

LMAOO

“You didn’t have a thing for me, Parker. I was nothing more than your dirty little secret.”

I felt intoxicated by her proximity, the whiskey having nothing on her, and it made me forget everything. I forgot that I hurt her, that she hurt me, that she ran, but more than anything, I forgot that I wasn’t hers anymore.

“I may have been a good girl then, but you destroyed every piece of her. I actually feel bad for Emily, because you, Parker James, are where good girls go to die.”

“What are we doing, Parker?”

“I don’t know.”

“But I can’t stay away from you ...

People come into our lives for a multitude of reasons. Some come for fleeting moments, some are there for a lifetime, and then there are those, the ones who it doesn’t matter how long they are a part of your life. They make such an impact that a moment with them is more poignant than a lifetime with someone else.

“I never expected you to be this guy.”

“I’ve never been this guy.”

“So why now?”

“I think the better question is what took me so long.”

I knew from experience that girl had quite a bit of fire inside her. When she burned, everyone else burned with her.

But a broken heart was the worst listener in the world, and all that bitch could see was him. She didn’t care about anything else. It is easy to swallow down the lies when your heart is hungry.

His name was a whisper on my lips, the taste of memories and pain and the desire for something I knew was wrong for me. Something that was wrong for both of us.

“Don’t say that shit again, Livy.” His voice was stern, and I didn’t push him. “I have never wanted something so bad in my life.”

She had been born wild. She was fierce, she was crazy, she was funny, but most of all, she was unpredictable.

She was chaos and madness, her heart never sitting still for long, and when I was with her, everything else crumbled away and I felt like I was home.

I needed to know that I would taste the chaos again, and even though Livy’s fire scared the shit out of me, I had more fear of never again feeling her burn.

“Thank you so much, Parker.”

“I know that this drawing must have meant something to you because you have turned down so many people. Thank you for doing it for me.”

“Livy, I…”

“I drew that for you.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s you.”

“I was so mad at you when you left. Fuck. I was furious.”

“You have always been so wild at heart. Like a wildfire that can never be tamed. That’s why I had to let you go.”

“So, he gets to parade his fiancée around like it doesn’t fucking break my heart every time I see them together, but I can’t talk to a guy because it might bother him.”

“It was always you.” He searched my eyes. “Always.”

“You’re not supposed to marry someone because you’re scared of hurting them, Parker. You’re supposed to marry someone who sets you on fire. Someone who you can’t stop thinking about and who thinks about you more than they do themselves.”

Spiraling out of control. I never wanted to stop, because for the first time in a very long time, I felt like I wasn’t broken anymore. The madness inside me settled, and I knew, that no matter what happened from this moment forward, I would never recover from Parker James.

I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t love you even though you ran through my every thought every single day.”

“But my biggest regret, something I will live with for the rest of my life, is that you didn’t know how much I have loved you since I was sixteen years old. Every day, every single day, I have loved you. As much as I tried,” he cupped my chin in his hand, “I have never figured out how to not be madly in love with everything you do.”

I didn’t want him to love me tenderly. I wanted him to bury his hands in my hair and get lost in me. I wanted him to bruise my lips and stain my skin with his need. I wanted him to dig his fingers into my soul and make love to the storm inside me. I wanted him to remind me how to breathe by taking my breath away, to love me recklessly. I didn’t need his hesitant touch or guarded desire. What I needed was to feel his fire and know that I wasn’t burning alone.

I looked at us in the mirror, his skin covered in tattoos, a fucking piece of art, and when I looked down at the heart he had created so perfectly inked on my body, I knew that all the madness in my heart was meant for him.

I didn’t need some grand gesture like the romance novels that lined Staci’s shelves because Parker James was all I had ever wanted love to be.

I would take being bad with Parker James a million times over being good with anyone else.