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I’m idly stewing in a pile of jealousy, because my curse was broken too. On the same night. And Vance gets her to himself before I even have my chance to celebrate. We’ve all gone mad.
“I think we’ve lived through too much and have become entirely too desensitized to all the crazy shit that woman brings into our lives,” I note aloud.
“They’ve not been whispering,” I tell the fool deviant. “It’s unnecessary to keep pressed up to the door like an obvious creep.”
“Which means Dorian may attempt something again,” Arion says, eyes going black, as the hallway chills several degrees. “He’ll never attempt anything of the sort ever again,” Damien says with more conviction than he has the right to use. Neither Arion nor I trust his judgment on this matter, and now it’s more severe.
“Are we drinking or resting to kill the time?” he asks. “I’d rather examine Violet’s office to see what she’s been up to,” I tell him as I head out. “Ooooooooh, I do love prying,” Damien says as he joins me.
“Don’t say her name again. Beetle Juice doesn’t need to show up tonight. Seeing Vance so adoringly affectionate, without an ounce of shame about it, would likely provoke her into violent action,” he says more seriously. “I’m getting paranoid.”
Zuela Van Helsing toasting Marta Portocale. Rolling my eyes, I mutter, “Maybe the chill in the air is from hell finally freezing over.”
I don’t know why I find her so delightful today. Perhaps it’s because she truly does fear she’s the biggest, baddest monster there’s ever been. I was more convinced it was possible yesterday than today.
“I wanted to hurry it along before she talked herself out of it. She genuinely thinks she can menace the four of us.” He battles a grin. “It seemed more conceivable yesterday,” Damien murmurs under his breath.
“Okay! Here it goes! Lie on your bellies and stay hidden in the tall grass. Don’t make any sudden movements,” Violet calls from across the field. “She’s not serious,” Vance states in a slightly horrified tone. When Violet taps her foot as though she’s waiting impatiently for us to comply, I roll my eyes and move to the ground.
“Even in the event she could be a struggle one-on-one, it’s insulting that she thinks her monster is capable of harming all four of us at once,” I point out, narrowing my eyes through the tall blades of grass toward Violet. “Her arrogance is astounding.” Vance mutters a curse and joins me, along with Damien at my other side. Emit is the last to comply.
A very awkward, somewhat embarrassing little roar shoots out of Violet, and we all gawk, as she…grows a little extra muscle. There’re a few ominous pops, as some clear definition abruptly outlines her biceps. Her thighs expand, rippling with more muscle. Little by little, she starts to look like a light-weight body-builder, with a few harsher features… It’s incredibly underwhelming, and it happens so fast that it’s not even all that exciting.
“This is anticlimactic,” I state with utter disappointment, as I stand and put my hands on my hips. “Let’s liven this party up a bit,” I add as I race away from them. I cringe for her. This is too hard to watch. I hear Damien hiss my name, but I’m willing to risk Violet’s pathetic wrath. She’s a Simpleton Neopry. I knew this.
“Now you’re just making her look pathetic. She’s so certain her monster is dangerous to you guys. I’m not sure anyone should tell her differently, and let’s hope she doesn’t remember this,” Anna says, cringing when Violet trips and crashes to the ground, before rolling into another tree…that snaps in half. “I mean, to a human, she really would be terrifying,” Vance says as though he’s attempting to spare her some dignity.
“This little monster killed your wolves, even when she was mostly starving herself?” I ask Emit, wrinkling my nose at him. “I’d be offended if I had betas so weak and slow. Surely more than three could have made retreat, if they’d been smart enough to get out of her path.” His mouth opens and closes, his eyes blinking as though he’s been standing over here in a stupor. Come to think of it, he’s had no commentary.
He reaches out to right her before she falls on her face. He grimaces when she still manages to crash into a tree, face first, of course. The tree crashes to the ground, and her along with it.
“At least she’s strong. And she’s still pretty,” Anna inserts. Damien chokes on laughter and then scowls like he found the humor inconvenient. I find Anna conveniently inconvenient.
I’m not scared of betas. I’m embarrassed for Violet. She needs to stop posturing on Idun. Now that I know how misguided she is, it’s certainly alarming.
“Why are you all so close?! I had one rule! Do you know how lucky you are? I could have killed you!” she snaps, swaying on her knees. “No. No, you couldn’t have,” I immediately inform her, since it’s important she understands that. Vance gives me a shut-up-and-let-him-handle-this look.
“Give her a minute to calm down. I think it’s best we not rile her. She may get angry and turn into her vicious monster,” Damien says, lips twitching with too much amusement. “Besides, she’s upset about the email Idun sent, warning she’d be claiming the Simpletons to do the upgrades on her home very soon.”
“I’m still mad!” Of course she’s mad. Any girl who thinks that wee monster is a match for the four of us…is clearly mad.
“I have my own, but I’ve heard rumors he was turning wolf and not staying with the knights,” Vance grinds out, casting an accusatory glare toward Emit. Emit struggles not to smile. Why does this fucking wolf get Avery? I wanted Avery. I need more persuasive omegas. Clearly.
Even I’m in on that bloody gossip, because…it’s Avery. He’s been as celibate as me.
“It’s just a cat! You’re embarrassing me too much right now to call you my best friend, you sad, pathetic waste of potential badassery,” Anna chimes in.
My curse was broken too. I’d like to fucking celebrate at some point. Thanks for not giving two shits, you fucking tossers,” Emit states in a flippant, bored tone. “Fucking ruined the highlight of my century, but no one cares. Typical.”
“We’re gone for ten bloody minutes and she’s preparing for war?”
“Neither. I’m shopping for Violet’s wedding gift.” I pause, holding up a finger. “Actually, I just found her gift. I do love the ease of purchases these days,” I tell him, feeling all too merry now that I’ve found this gem. It’s a pencil holder with a ribbon corset around it. I think someone had us in mind when they designed it.
“Vance!” she shouts like some startled wild animal. “Surely it can’t be that surprising to find me after several minutes of me whacking through the forest and shouting your name,” I state in a dry tone.
She’s a terrible runner, and it distracts me from the fact we need to have a very serious conversation about what her monster really is. A poor man’s Simpleton monster.
“What’s not right is having briars stuck to your cock,” Emit retorts from the woods, swearing vengeance on a prickly bush of some sort, given the rest of his muttered commentary that I barely pick up bits and pieces from. “If anyone’s cock deserves to get stabbed by briars, it’s yours,” I assure him, distracted by the day’s random events.
Emit is busy plucking the briars from his cock, cursing some of the more stubbornly embedded ones. “This is why most civilized folk wear trousers,” I decide to inform him, smiling like a prat, when he glares over at me.
We should have immediately told her how weak her monster is next to an alpha. Eleven minutes. Eleven fucking minutes. Eleven minutes was too long to wait. She moves too quickly into conflict, even for human standards.
Violet is decidedly determined to find out if immortals can still suffer cardiac arrest without some sort of physical catalyst. We’re her guinea pigs.
“She’s either sadistic and enjoys torturing us by crucifying herself, or she’s a fool who doesn’t know any better. Either way, we have to find a way to rein her in before she succeeds in truly provoking Idun,” I tell him too quietly for the ghost to overhear.
Our girlfriend is either an extreme masochist or an unintentional sadist—still undecided as to which category to check off.
I cut my eyes to Violet, wishing I could somehow breathe just an ounce of self-preservation into her stubborn, headstrong mind.
“The wolf would have to work damn hard to win me back, and he’s not the type to put forth that much effort. I’m not holding my breath, and my heart’s not breaking.” I envy Emit. I hate that I envy that fucking stupid mutt. He damn near smirks.
“Damien’s a lost cause. He’s as pointless as the wolf. Keep him as well,” Idun says, gesturing with her hand toward the doors that open behind us. Damien moves in next to my side, eyes concentrated solely on Violet.
Violet doesn’t budge, and her eyes never leave Idun’s, which is remarkably foolish and far too arrogant. How is it that rules of our instincts don’t apply to her? Is it because of all the mixed heritage? Is it because of the miraculous birth? Is it because of her human raising among a much more lenient time and country? Is it because too many braincells have been burned out by botched potions in poorly ventilated spaces?
“I think you have too much power and abuse it too freely, simply because you can. I think you enjoy toying with the lives of others to remain relevant in a world that doesn’t really hear the ribbon girl story very often. They certainly don’t fear her.”
Without hesitating any longer, I tip my head back, and I howl the best I can, which…is terrible. So terrible. I mess up the entire beauty of their moment, and all the wolves stop howling at once to look over at me. Including Emit. Leiza whimpers the way she only does when she’s embarrassed, she and covers her face up with her front paws. “I’m so sorry. I really am. Please continue. I promise not to do it again,”
I’m not sure if this hits the lead spot on the extensive list of times I’ve been mortified, but it’s certainly edging toward the top ten. I glare over at Leiza, who still has her face covered. Traitor.
“You ever help Violet step into a trap like that again, with such a bright attitude and zero respect for the line you’ve crossed, I’ll kill you,” I tell him very directly, just so he doesn’t get confused about things.
now Arion is apparently preparing to seal the vampire-bride deal with the Monster Olympics. I’m rarely sure how one thing leads to another, but that’s become a typical day in my life.”
I hate her. I’ve used that word before. It’s a running joke between Anna and I. In all my life, I’ve never truly, sincerely hated anyone. However, I hate Idun. I hate her.
“As much as I would love losing myself in you, especially after the rough few days, I’m afraid I have to escort some wolves to the running lands. Also, there’s a stamp on your forehead that spells ‘LOSER,’ and I’m finding it terribly distracting during this really intense moment.”
The ghosts who haunt my life in an attempt to make me miserable? Unsurprisingly, they said nothing at all either.
he may love Violet, but he doesn’t know the first thing about appropriately wooing her. The odds are that she’ll knee him in the bollocks before this day ends.
No one can hear a damn thing over the Star Spangled Banner that is currently being played on a very loud, electric guitar. My gaze drifts to Violet, who is standing at attention, hand pressed over her heart, as she stares up at a flag. Arion looks very displeased, even as he does the same thing. “She taught the vampire manners,” Emit says as he comes to stand next to us. “Surely she knows he has no country he feels patriotic toward—”
The Morpheous tent erupts into a frenzy of cheers, which is far more enthusiasm than I expected. They seem a little ‘too cool’ for sports. Especially sports that include rolling a wheel of salt down a hill. I’m sure there’s a deeper meaning that I’m clearly completely in the dark about.
