It’s something invented afterwards, in the war they describe in letters home. Met with an unfortunate accident is code for slain while unarmed and begging by an opposing knight. Succumbed to grief after her lord’s passing usually means raped and left for dead. Unfortunately the written word is stronger than memory, so the myth of glorious knighthood lingers onwards in the minds of boys and patient wives. Otherwise no mother would let her child ride to war.
