Boyfriend Material (London Calling, #1)

by Alexis Hall

And my problem, as always, was not knowing what kind of dick I wanted to be.

I should probably explain why I was sipping on a nonbinary beverage while wearing the world’s most middle-class excuse for fetish gear in a basement in Shoreditch.

“You really do own your illiteracy, don’t you?” “Yeah, I’m thinking about moving to America and running for public office.”

“Someone else’s actions may affect you. But what other people choose to do is about them.” We were both quiet for a moment.. “Will it…will it ever stop hurting?” “Non.” Mum shook her head. “But it will stop mattering.”

“I can’t even get an inappropriate boyfriend.”

“Are you wearing eyeliner?” he asked. “What? No.” “Really?” “Well, it’s the kind of thing I think I’d remember. I’m pretty sure this is just what my eyes look like.” He looked slightly affronted. “That’s ridiculous.”

Things to not say on your first date: your eyes look ridiculous

Maybe this was going to be okay. Maybe we’d been saved by a dead fish.

He was going to respect my wishes like some kind of arsehole.

“Where I am going with this, mon caneton, is that I don’t give a shit. It is my curry, and I will make it the way I fucking well want to. And that is the way Oliver should live his life. Because the people who matter will love you anyway.”

and I said I would because you’ve made me a better person you bastard My apologies. I didn’t mean to.

Look. It’s not the sort of thing you talk about, okay? It was for us. And it was everything.

And if we let happy things make us unhappy when they stopped, there would be no point having happy things.”